Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML
Today, a guy I liked came to pick me up for our first date. As he opened the car door, I noticed nearly an inch of dog hair on every surface of the interior. Not wanting to get it all over me, I asked if we could take my car instead. He was so “insulted” he drove off and left me standing there. FML
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML
Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML
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Top comments
syki 22
Guess you're not his main bitch.
BubbleGrunge 18
Next time he ask for sex, tell him the dog is probably more than willing.
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Comments (133)
Emiweb 9
My dog always got travel sick in the back and would puke. In the front, she was fine. Maybe his dog is similar. Though, as picking her up was an 'unusually sweet' gesture, maybe he is just a bit of a dick.
winterlies 8
nice guys finish last, after all.
The_F3rris 11
The dog must be better in the sack than you, OP.
kenzierocky97 4
Dated a guy similar. Not fun honey. It ends brutal
ChicaChica5683 0
And you're dating him why??
BrandisaurousRex 6
That is when you dump him!!!
snowboarder1231 1
obviously you can do better.
jessicalouise210 6
bitch, should know her place, y'know? j.k.
iheartzombies15 4
Your dating a douche bag.. A doucheeeee baggggggg.. Doucheeee bagggggggg...
Ahrveiren 4
This is why I'm starting to hate women. They complain about douchebags like this AND THEY STILL DATE THEM! Meanwhile, many men who aren't douchebags are lonely and dateless.