Today, my boyfriend of six months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He went quiet, and I heard barking in the background. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a choice between me and the super creepy, codependent, almost Norman Bates relationship he has with his mother. Guess which he chose. FML
Today, my boyfriend apparently lied to me when he'd said we could get a dog one day. I bought a puppy for him in secret but as soon as he saw it he was all, "What the hell is that? We’re not keeping it." It’s now with his parents, as he didn’t want it overnight or even in the house. FML
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says, "Oh, honey. I don't care… Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML
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Top comments
Nocturna_fml 0
I'll assume you're both like 10.
polico_wolf 0
what kind of mother makes people choose like that?
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Comments (140)
noshtshrlk 0
dayumm...
moon21_fml 0
He Knows... that dog's not gonna cheat on him laterr XD
yeahiknow0 0
I'm sorry but this made me laugh
austinninja1700 0
who ever chose the dog over the girl r all probably 40 year old virgins
mad_hatter0666 22
your bf and his mom are idiots. I don't see how one affects the other.
sgracemoore 0
I don't blame him
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
I'm sorry, how old is he? 12?
heyheyhello 0
your name being woof woof just makes this that much funnier :D
devinewind 4
The new bitch is easier to control I bet
DatWhiteGuy 0
Oh man. Failure.