Bates Motel

By Anonymous - 15/10/2021 08:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a choice between me and the super creepy codependent almost Norman Bates relationship he has with his mother. Guess which he chose. FML
I agree, your life sucks 768
You deserved it 426

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Yeah.... I don't think you should feel bad about him dumping you.... Next time, try and find a guy who has a healthy relationship with his family.

I just don't know if making a man choose between his girlfriend and his mom is going to win anyone over

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Yeah.... I don't think you should feel bad about him dumping you.... Next time, try and find a guy who has a healthy relationship with his family.

I just don't know if making a man choose between his girlfriend and his mom is going to win anyone over

Depends on the relationship. When my mother started harassing my girlfriend while we were visiting the parents, I took my GF home immediately. Some lines, when crossed, should have repercussions.

If he chose you, Mama would probably come and stab you in the head. For your sake, I hope he chose Mama.

you dodged a bullet. men (and women) like that, they rarely change. better now than before kids because you would have been in for a lifetime of misery.

(1) I agree that in the end you dodged a bullet. People with unhealthy relationships and attitudes almost never change them. You are likely better off without him. (2) Ultimatums rarely bring about the desired result - especially if it’s between you who are recent to his life and someone who is family. An ultimatum is often like bluffing in the game of poker. If the other person suspects that you are not able to back up your bet with the wining cards then the smart move is to call your bluff. Furthermore if you bluff and fold once or even if you bluff and win but later they find out you were bluffing; then they are going to assume future ultimatums are just a bluff and call you on them. Never say things that you are not willing to live with. Some things cannot be unsaid and have a permanent effect. (3) There will be times in life when we have to make the hard decisions. If a relationship is not going to work for you or no longer works for the two of you, then it’s time for a clear headed decision. As Dear Abby used to say “Are you better off with or without them?” Most things in a relationship can be repaired if you communicate honestly and openly with each other as long as both want the relationship to work and are willing to compromise. Sometimes however there are things that just cannot be repaired and then if you know that is the case then it’s time to make a new plan and move on with your life.

You dodged a huge bullet. Be very thankful.

If someone tries to give you an ultimatum between them and someone else, choose the person that didn't give you the ultimatum, because ultimatums are fucking stupid.

Separating your partner from their support structure is classic abusive relationship behavior. Family is part of the package, and if you can't handle that then he made the right call. Also giving people ultimatums is kind of a dick move... -I've kind of been there, girlfriend was fine. Her family and friends though were just awful, toxic, vulgar, abusive, drama loving/causing people. We eventually separated for other reasons, and if I had weakened those bonds only to bounce myself that would be even more a dick move.