Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

Thunderstruck

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

Cool move, dude

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML