Kids: Today, I had to explain to my Pokemon-obsessed 6-year-old cousin... - FML

By Pokecousin

Today, I had to explain to my Pokemon-obsessed 6-year-old cousin that Albinos are not "Shiny People". FML

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Late term

BO Central

Walk on the wild side

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

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By porkeater - United States

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

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By Leah - United States

Today, my boss gave me a speech about my "motivation issues". I've been working for him for 2 months, the commissions I've made for him paid off his bills, so what are my motivation issues? I turned down his offer of a date. I have a boyfriend. He keeps asking. FML

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By Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

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By Hana - Canada - York

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML

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By jalapenos99 - United States

Today, I was playing in a basketball game and blocked this kid's shot. I was really pumped up about it until I realized the kid had cerebral palsy and the coach put him on the team because he really wanted to be on at least one team in his life. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Sexy talk

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

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By Mothering - Australia

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

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By Toolate

Today, after having gone off the pill a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my old friskiness back only to find part of a condom wrapper in my husband's pocket. Turns out he was impatient and went elsewhere. FML

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By chicagobulls102 - United States

Today, the really cute guy who asked for my number last night texted me. He wanted to know if he could get my friend's number, because he'd been too shy to ask her directly. FML

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By xJade2012x - United States

Ouch

Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

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By j3r3zana16 - Canada

Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML

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By HatedbyBras - Netherlands

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Show Low

Today, I picked up an elderly woman walking alone in the cold. I asked her where she was going but she didn't respond. Thinking she was just cold, I kept driving until a man driving erratically kept honking at me. Turns out he's her husband and she has severe Alzheimers. FML

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By piercingfreak - New Zealand

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

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By SickBoi - 30/3/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Hot lava from both ends

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

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By LittleSprout - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was buying veggies with my five-year-old. She saw some brussel sprouts and begged me to buy them. I thought there was no way she'd like them, but I do, so I got them. Later, she was sitting on the couch eating them raw like candy. I have a weird kid. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a mild allergic reaction from eating pasta salad. I told my mom that I might be allergic to the parsley, since it was the only ingredient that I don't eat often. She made me eat a sprig of it to "make sure." Now my face is covered in hives. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I had to do an assignment about my greatest achievement and about an award I've received. I don't have either. FML

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By killme - United States - Lewiston

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, at the funeral home where I work, I asked my boss if it was time to "bring out the stiff". I didn't realize the guy's family was not only in the building, but within earshot as well. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML

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By Carolina R-h

Today, after driving 900 miles, the tongue on my trailer broke ten miles away from home. I was stuck on the side of the road for 3 hours. FML

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By Ariel - Israel

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

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By Emmy - United States

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

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By M.A. - United States - Prescott

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. This poses a problem, because her mother is my boss, and we work in an office on the first story of their apartment. Tomorrow I have to decide whether to quit my awesome and only job, or go to work for my now ex's mother in their house. FML

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By therosalina - United States - Duluth

Today, my dad moved my car onto the street so he wouldn't accidentally back into it while moving our boat. My neighbor backed into it instead. FML

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By biomajor - United States

Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

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By chucklesman96 - Canada - Westerose

Today, I got shot in the leg while taking a firearms safety course. FML

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By Wtf - United States - Peoria

Today, I was asked to babysit for a family that attends the daycare I work at. All of my coworkers warned me that they were rough kids but I shrugged it off. As soon as the parents left, the 7-year-old girl said, "Oh good now I can focus on death and my plans". FML

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By toyotasmash - United States

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

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By nayahbear24 - United States - Trenton

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

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By Evjoel - Bermuda - Hamilton

Today, I decided to take some local college courses to improve my résumé. I got into the physics room and a large, multi-colored sign in large print stated, "NO THROWING OR STABBING." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

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By Anonymous

Proud

Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML

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By Murlocmurk - United States

Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML

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Top comments

By GhostFox | 33

#7382747 - Monday 2 January 2017 9:40

He's not entirely wrong. "Shiny" Pokémon are individuals of their species with unusual pigmentation- likely due to what would be genetics if Pokémon existed in the human world. Albinos are humans who lack or produce very little pigmentation meaning they look like they have unusual pigmentation, due to genetics. Both are uncommon.

If anything, him being able to make that connections shows some above average ability for connecting information together.

By LZ_fml | 7

#7383490 - Tuesday 3 January 2017 23:47

But they kinda are.

COMMENTS

By CrassKal | 27

#7382737 - Monday 2 January 2017 9:03

I find this equal parts adorable and hilarious.

By species4872 | 19

#7382738 - Monday 2 January 2017 9:05

No, they just glow in the dark.

By LyricaSilvan | 29

#7382740 - Monday 2 January 2017 9:15

It can be hard to explain those things to a small child. Kudos for trying, though. If the lesson doesn't take, just try to laugh it off. Most people won't get too terribly pissed at a little kid for making those kinds of comments; adults generally get that little kids have no filter. And once the lil Pokemon trainer gets old enough, they'll realize the truth on their own.

By The_Butt_Shark | 4

#7382741 - Monday 2 January 2017 9:17

I mean, he isn't wrong.

Reply

bsshooter | 14

#7382973 - Monday 2 January 2017 22:56

they just have bad *I.V.* stats in defence and s.def is all

By darkmind1 | 12

#7382742 - Monday 2 January 2017 9:17

Come back in about 10 years. If your cousin still thinks albinos are Shiny People then it's an fml.

By aggoden_bed | 9

#7382744 - Monday 2 January 2017 9:25

They are not shiny people but a super rare type.

By GhostFox | 33

#7382747 - Monday 2 January 2017 9:40

He's not entirely wrong. "Shiny" Pokémon are individuals of their species with unusual pigmentation- likely due to what would be genetics if Pokémon existed in the human world. Albinos are humans who lack or produce very little pigmentation meaning they look like they have unusual pigmentation, due to genetics. Both are uncommon.

If anything, him being able to make that connections shows some above average ability for connecting information together.

Reply

PrototypeXD | 5

#7382755 - Monday 2 January 2017 10:42

That kid is definitely going places

Reply

yerawizardlizzy | 27

#7382852 - Monday 2 January 2017 15:40

Thank you for relating the two. I didn't understand what liking Pokemon had to do with it.

By trollbot13 | 12

#7382757 - Monday 2 January 2017 10:50

I think me and your kid would get along very well. I had the same thought when I was 6.

By moondoglou420 | 17

#7382766 - Monday 2 January 2017 11:31

But you can still catch them anyways!

Reply

Devolution | 8

#7382784 - Monday 2 January 2017 12:15

Speaking from experience?

By VeryCreativeName | 3

#7382797 - Monday 2 January 2017 12:45

This is absolutely hilarious, I don't see how it's an FML, honestly xD