Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you...

By Mr Hawks - 19/12/2008 05:17 - France

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

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Geek

Tense

Breaking Badly

This is fine

By cc - 10/10/2011 04:04 - United States

Today, I lent my sister $1000 because she and her husband were in some debt. They used the money to go gambling in Vegas and won a major jackpot. They won't even give me a cut. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/8/2016 00:24 - United States - Denver

Today, on my way to a big convention in Chicago, I found out that when my friend said, "I live in Chicago," they really meant, "I live an hour and a half outside of Chicago." Hello traffic and hours of daily driving. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/2/2017 04:00

Today, I met my teacher after school to talk about a paper on which he gave me a low grade. I told him that I felt it was wrongly graded and he agreed. He lowered my score. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/6/2009 08:02 - United States

Today, I found out that the love of my life, who I've been going out with for two weeks only, asked me out because he lost a bet. Apparently I'm the punishment for not being able to eat 10 hot dogs. FML

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By dzisfml - 14/2/2010 08:42 - Canada

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

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By fuckmuppet - 27/5/2014 17:04 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/1/2010 13:33 - United States

Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/8/2019 06:00 - United States - New Rochelle

Today, I went fishing. Not only did I lose the fish, I lost the entire rod. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/7/2015 01:45 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

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By POP101 - 5/2/2010 21:27 - Canada

Today, there was this girl in heels running in front of me at school, and she slipped on ice. Trying to be a hero, I dropped my backpack and ran up to help her, but ended up slipping and landing on her leg. As I walked back to my backpack, I found out I dropped my laptop and broke it. FML

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By Anon - 4/8/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

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By anonymous - 1/10/2016 09:00 - Australia - Tennyson

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

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By anonymous - 13/2/2012 11:32 - United States

Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

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By Stuckwiththebill - 28/1/2018 01:30

The show must go on!

Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML

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By badtiming - 3/3/2015 17:18 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I received a rejection letter from a job I desperately wanted. Yesterday, the job offer I'd been stalling on in while waiting for news about this one expired. FML

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By Wally - 8/5/2009 15:20 - Canada

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

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By IloveJapan - 2/4/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/6/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

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By naps aren't what they used to be - 27/4/2013 22:05 - United States

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

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By sick in Vegas - 7/1/2012 22:21 - United States

Today, I'm in Vegas to celebrate my 22nd birthday. I should be out having a blast, but a stomach virus thought otherwise. I'll be spending my birthday stuck in my hotel room eating microwaved soup. FML

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By emliv12 - 25/5/2012 07:07 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/8/2019 04:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after a lifelong struggle with suicidal depression and heroin abuse, I've been clean for six months. This is the healthiest I've been in ages, and naturally, I've gained weight. My whole family constantly talks about how I’ve let myself go, and how I should go back on heroin to be thin. FML

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By Fuck irony - 29/10/2017 10:00 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I was volunteering at a soup kitchen and was advised to leave my wallet and cell phone in my car so they wouldn’t be stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole them. FML

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By Username - 21/3/2012 17:10 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

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By shaggyberaddy - 5/1/2018 05:00

Christmas Chaos

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML

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By Megan Snair - 1/9/2019 04:01

Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML

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By Screwed - 1/5/2017 14:00

Today, I was informed that- despite an already skeletal staff- my supervisor is leaving the company. Tomorrow. FML

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By pyrogypsy - 24/10/2014 01:05 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

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By PokeWife - 6/2/2013 13:38 - United States - Omaha

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

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By Olorin - 12/8/2010 23:21 - Germany

Today, I was installing TVs in a hospital. When I knocked on a door, a female voice asked me to come in. I opened the door to see an 80 year old woman standing in front of me, naked. She then complained when I hesitated to help her to put some clothes on. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/11/2019 19:00 - Australia

Unhappy birthday

Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML

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By xUnluckyx - 18/3/2010 05:45 - Canada

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

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By EMTGirl'sLife - 10/2/2015 03:15 - United States - Basking Ridge

Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/11/2014 03:44 - Australia

Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML

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By me - 14/6/2014 15:28 - United States - West Babylon

Today, I found out that the guy who asked me out only did so because he thought I "looked rich." He broke everything off once he found out I live in a one-bedroom apartment and drive a 14-year old Volvo. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/5/2018 01:30

ur mom gay

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

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By rastafarimon - 17/4/2011 05:56 - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/7/2012 16:04 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right now, and all the unfamiliar foods set me off every time I eat. I can choose between having a great time and starving myself half to death, or sitting in my hotel room all day with stomach pains and diarrhea. FML

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By colts609380 - 17/5/2012 21:07 - United States - Corona

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

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Top comments

By Paredero | 0

#28135 - Thursday 12 March 2009 14:22

Haha, you grandmother says "Yes, it's a cute girl"

By AliSama | 17

#5446 - Sunday 22 February 2009 20:27

it will read any photo in your pictures directory.

COMMENTS

By khaldun | 0

#2873 - Tuesday 17 February 2009 4:28

Encrypted virtual drives FTW. XD

By AliSama | 17

#5446 - Sunday 22 February 2009 20:27

it will read any photo in your pictures directory.

By Paredero | 0

#28135 - Thursday 12 March 2009 14:22

Haha, you grandmother says "Yes, it's a cute girl"

By Laughing_is_cool | 4

#46911 - Saturday 21 March 2009 5:31

thanks for telling me.

By PhysOptGuy | 0

#49619 - Sunday 22 March 2009 8:08

AxCrypt.

By Eladar | 0

#63945 - Saturday 28 March 2009 2:50

pics!!! or it never happened =p

By krovek42 | 0

#86487 - Monday 6 April 2009 9:57

hahahahah nice. better than pictures of kinky qeird porn or something. ANd thanks for the story, now ill remember to never do that hahaah

By Unanswered | 0

#129401 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 15:14

get a mac

girlygeek004 | 8

#3567074 - Thursday 10 November 2011 6:53

I wish I could thumbs up this a billion times.

jdimaria3 | 13

#4969081 - Tuesday 25 September 2012 3:32

It would be easier to just get a flash drive.

SneakySlayer | 15

#6698748 - Monday 3 October 2016 22:15

Macs are a waste of money

By RedneckWoman1990 | 0

#130497 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 22:08

My mac certainly doesn't show hidden pictures, aren't I lucky ;-)

By falcon_paunch | 0

#222262 - Saturday 23 May 2009 6:27

So how did your family respond?