Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my stepdad is insisting that we either get rid of my dog or euthanize him because he bit me. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my boyfriend was arrested and might go to prison because he shot the guy who tried to kidnap his dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
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Top comments
Philliesfan9391 3
Put your boyfriend down for violating your dog.
holeyman 8
Instead of getting a new dog, get a new boyfriend.
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Comments (230)
aqueous_love 0
Wow... I feel sorry for your dog. Never knew what was coming.
22cute 17
Really! It's instinct for dogs to fight with their mouths. They don't have hands, duh.
aqueous_love 0
Of course, it seems like it has become instinct for some humans to fight with their mouths these days :/
brianjman14 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your boyfriend is an idiot, but your dog really shouldn't attack someone like that. My friend's dog attacks anyone almost everyone unless my friend is there. It sucks. But don't get the dog put down!
Cheesecakee 11
I think I would probably attack to if a sloppy drunk guy tried to put his tongue in my mouth..
Pazu_fml 10
Even the most docile dog will fight back if they're being assaulted. The boyfriend was 100% to blame.
awesomeamandas 37
yeah, don't attack someone who is violating you. literally any living animal (humans included) would attempt to fight back when something is attacking them.
scotty2hottie48 0
Sound like your typical cheesehead, fudgepackers loving wisconsin person.
AliSama 17
Dump him! ASAP! Go get a boyfriend who does not drink and do stupid stuff. Better yet avoid drinkers. All life is important and serves a purpose. Your dog is important to you! Keep your dog around. If he wants to do anything legally you have the case that he provoked the dog into reacting.
ThorneCrossed 9
Because everyone who drinks alcohol is an abusive demon, that should never be dated by anyone. Hurray for Prohibition!
dearbarn 0
Shes got a point
cinderella10383 6
Hehehe exactly #17 the poor dog tried yelling rape but no one listened I guess those self defense classes paid off :)meant for above hidden comment wtf
evilscorpi 29
if thats thata one of the things he does while drunk imagine what else your bf is capable of.......i say you dump him now. that dog was just protecting it self
cheeturtle 0
Well there's no reason to drink and get drunk! If there was no drugs and beer, there would be a lot less accidents and less dead people. It's better to stay away from drunk people cause crap like that happens. It's her boyfriends fault that he got bit in the face.
Pendragon525 0
*moron
Shawnie Gallant 24
My partner has alcohol addiction, it’s gotten to the point where rehab and meds didn’t help, so now he’s on an anti addiction pill that doesn’t allow him to get drunk by instead forces him into a hangover with booze. Avoid drinkers.
Cheesecakee 11
I think he's the one that needs to be put down..
flaunt 1
Not the dogs fault! Please don't put him down over something so stupid.
Jasonf6 0
Get rid of his dumb alcoholic ass.
ElectricEffect 13
So, you've decided he's an alcoholic, because OP mentioned one occasion that he got drunk? Do I really have to explain the definition of alcoholism for you, or could you be a smart one and look it up?
bizarre_ftw 22
Well he apparently got drunk, did something extremely stupid, got hurt, and now sees it as the world's fault without any responsibility on himself. Plus the FML makes it seem, in a way my tired mind cannot explain, that the 'got drunk' part is not unusual. This guy could easily be A) a drunk B) a soon to be drunk Or, in a phrasing I much prefer, "he is either a/on his way to becoming a lush"
patriciadusud_fml 8
Everyday, from now on until his last day, he will be carrying his stupidy on his face. People like to know history of scars .... I bet he will change the story !
Buttsexpirate 9
People who kiss bitches get stitches.
morganwazhere11 9
Nice boyfriend.