Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my stepdad is insisting that we either get rid of my dog or euthanize him because he bit me. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my boyfriend was arrested and might go to prison because he shot the guy who tried to kidnap his dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Philliesfan9391 3
Put your boyfriend down for violating your dog.
holeyman 8
Instead of getting a new dog, get a new boyfriend.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (230)
Emmy_The_Great 2
Put your boyfriend down not the dog.
dpprincess97 0
put down the boyfriend! the dog didn't get shitfaced and try to frenchkiss anyone.
Philliesfan9391 3
But we can change him! I swear! :(
lysx84 24
I'd get the boyfriend put down.
HomeAl0ne 20
Tell him to smear peanut butter all over his lips. That should do the trick. Am I right? I'm right, aren't I.
bizarre_ftw 22
What about his tongue?
mistersheezy 7
I wonder what else he's tried with your dog...
Wheredidgrungego 12
You might not want to kiss him for awhile.... or talk to him ever again.
mwmartin2505 0
Give the dog a treat and put the boyfriend down.
every1luvsboners 11
He instigated the attack. Can you read?
perdix 31
I'll bet the dog was into it, but you shanked your boyfriend in the face out of pure jealousy. Never trust the bitches.
gunner2590 0
I think you should get the dog put down. People kiss their dogs all the time... Not the French kiss type, but if a dog is causing someone 12 stitches from someone kissing it then maybe the dog is too violent. Then get a new boyfriend because he's pretty stupid.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Put the dog down? for what, Defending himself from a drunken idiot? Plus, who would euthanize an animal for something like forcing your tounge down your animals mouth? I mean really...
Clarice1 9
I doubt it was a normal showing-your-dog-affection kind of thing, since OP would have to know if her dog was inclined to attack someone who just gets close to its face. But if the boyfriend was wrestling with it, holding its head and coming at it with his mouth open -- that looks like the way all species of dogs fight.
Skittlepickle 13
Ok, so lets pretend YOUR a dog. Someone rubs their tongue all over you so you defend yourself because this frightens you. Then they kill you. But some random guy says that you deserve it.
Pendragon525 0
#57: Love the absinthe icon!
SinfulRose 0
It's clear that your a dumb bitch Lmfao.
Shawnie Gallant 24
You don’t kill the dog for probably giving correct dog warnings to the boyfriend. He pushed the dog too damn far. If you kiss my dog I will punt you, I won’t make her put up with that.