Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
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Top comments
Shelbyyyyyyy 4
At least you got roses.
bbedlock_fml 7
That's an, um, creative way to break up with someone.
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Comments (123)
skyeyez9 25
Why do people have to be complete assholes when breaking up? Why not just tell him/her that you arent compatible and should break up. Dont be jerks about it.
purpleheartzz 5
think about this . . you have roses . . he has an unbeaten by roses head . . challenge accepted(:
tifsuz 9
What a douche. Better than some break-ups, only by the fact that it was in person, but still needs to man-up - without being cruel.
sertyla 1
Keep them healthy so he loves you, forever.
iknoright 0
hang them upside down to dry. they last forever.
eva_baby25 4
Be glad your boyfriends sweet enough to even get you roses
Pandorabox25 5
Just because it happens on facebook doesn't mean it's gonna happen in real life
sammiedee735 0
My ex broke up with me on a message on Facebook a least this way was a little more original
sugardoll72 0
You do realize, that the same thing would happen, only quicker with a fake one? The fake one was already dead.... Be happy, you have more time than other people XD
Aveira 4
How can it be dead if it was never alive to begin with?
Attica 20
Something that was never alive can't die, genius.
eviannastorm 4
Wow... At least it's an expensive breakup.... Roses are expensive >.