Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
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Top comments
Shelbyyyyyyy 4
At least you got roses.
bbedlock_fml 7
That's an, um, creative way to break up with someone.
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Comments (123)
mooseknuckle00 0
Genius.
YuffieK 0
That's when you replace them without him knowing when they're about to die. ;D
ImInABox 6
Roses can be expensive.. At least you cost him a pretty penny for him to break-up with you.
BadSuerte 0
You should have refused. (:
TheFirstSamurai 18
I know you like to think roses don't stink, but if you lean a little closer see that roses really smell like poo-poo.
Inediblepeaches 15
Dump his ass
kismentia 10
It's ok. When the last petal falls, he'll just remain a beast instead.
piccalo 4
OP's boyfriend want to put a silly test if she can keep a rose fresh.dip a rose in wax and u can have ur boyfriend for a long time.
matthewmattyB 0
Buy him a bunch of already dead roses and when he looks at you puzzled just say "exactly"
buenojabba 0
Better water those roses!