Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
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Top comments
Shelbyyyyyyy 4
At least you got roses.
bbedlock_fml 7
That's an, um, creative way to break up with someone.
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Comments (123)
mama2b3 20
That almost seems mean spirited.
BellaMarta 19
Don't base your life around facebook.
SandiRainbowFish 20
She's not.
Oasispetro1 4
ur fukin stupid
atomicbaboon 0
says the guy that spelled 2 out of the 3 words in his comment wrong
Oasispetro1 4
says the **** whos name is atomic baboon
eigelste 0
Lol I get my gf 1 rose for every year we've been together on our anniversary and in a week that's 3 lol all I have to say is find someone who will put the fake one in lol I can't stop laughing
absolutegrrr 7
Hahahahaha neither can we!
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
^^ WTF?
Kolden 11
That's so awesome.
Rainbowjumper0 12
Um no its not
rogue2888 4
Freeze them! That way they won't die. Well sort of anyways
hellbilly205 17
What makes you think he's still not gonna break it off with her?
Furrywhiplash 14
If she is mad enough, she could take the creepy approach: break into his house when no one is home, hang the roses by a noose in his room, and leave a note saying "you're next." (although that could potentially land her in trouble with law enforcement...)
ppatty 0
lmao that is awesome ^^
asoke 8
Should of bought a fake one and not tell him
dedrater_kool_u 0
that made absolutely no sense.
A100893 30
Well, OP, you have options. If you want revenge, shove them down his throat. They'll die quickly and you can be rid of him. (Hopefully they still have the thorns)
j0k3r2213 0
that's a good one!!
A100893 30
True, at least he wasn't a coward and did it in person.
MandyMeow_fml 18
I guess that shows that he's not the one for you.. But at least you got pretty roses :)
Ins_Knie 2
Why wait?