Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Shelbyyyyyyy 4
At least you got roses.
bbedlock_fml 7
That's an, um, creative way to break up with someone.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
MissSmileyFace 0
Just keep buying one rose and go like "its still alive. I guess you still love me!" nah I'm kidding. What a clever ass.
BIGASSTITS 12
Sucks to be you.
06dopey 8
oh because your life is so frickin perfect. please woman.
poprocksss73 7
It must be, she does have "bigasstits"..... wtf
heyred 11
Beat him about the head and neck with them until they die, then kick his thorny ass to the curb.
Enslaved 38
Why would he get the OP roses if he actually did plan on breaking up with her within days? The OP could try to preserve the flowers by hanging them upside down to dry a few days before they die. Once they stiffen that way, they can last forever. (:
poprocksss73 7
Facebook like? Fake one? It took me 6 goes to get this, then come to the conclusion that your bf is a prick. A very confusing yet creative prick.
Anai08 17
I still don't understand where Facebook come in on this =
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Someone had it on their Facebook as a message that everyone and their chicken liked, that their boyfriend got them a bunch of roses and said he'd love them till the last one died but one of the flowers was fake. The OPs boyfriend then copied that but without the fake rose as a way to break up with the OP. That explain it?
perdix 31
I hate to burst your bubble, but he's already stopped loving you. He's just giving you a few days to clear your shit out of his place. Don't try to come up with re-animation schemes like Dr. Frankenstein, cuz ... Game over, man!
MoogleSam 8
It says nowhere that she lives at his place or has any of her stuff at his place. He might live in her place or have stuff in her place for all we know. And nowhere does she state that she feels he still loves her at this point in time, if anything the fact she posted it here indicates that she has had her heart broken by the cruelty of his way of saying he doesn't. He didn't let her down gently, he dropped her like a cement block.
perdix 31
There's a 300-character limit (not words, characters) on FMLs including the mandatory "Today, " and "FML." so there isn't enough room to add all these details. You have to read between the lines. Your rant is much longer than the maximum-sized FML.
MoogleSam 8
You should get him a plastic rose and say you'll hate him until it dies then break up with him.
WhiteRangerKid 5
hahahah!!!
daydreamer244 13
That's an interesting way to break up with someone...
CruelGirl07 5
I say just move on now. It's not worth your time if he has already said/done this. Ignore all the people telling you to get a fake one and replace a real one with it. That would be ridiculous. He's already obviously made his decision. Move on...there will be someone better'