Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one, he responded with, "That's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML
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Top comments
KamilleBlack 3
Oh, honey, that guy is terrible.
skyeyez9 25
dump him! A man who says shit like that is probably a lousy lay and clueless how to please a woman sexually.
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Comments (86)
UndeadShaggydoo 0
hahaha I laugh so loud when i read this
laxer19 0
this is one of my favorites!!! i cracked up for like 10 minutes
bittersweet1 0
what a douche. get rid of him
snagglepaste 0
Awesome!
briiana012 3
vagasil?
Eyeliner_fml 0
park the beef bus in the tuna sandwich ? excuse me while I cut my head off
jussjess 0
Ooh, what a winner.
esfox83 17
I don't care what anybody says that is funny
MarsDeeKiwiBird 0
I'd probably laugh my a** off if my boyfriend said that. ... Eh, the thing about smelling like a stripper... not so much...
neverenough4206 0
props for the bloodhound gang reference