Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one, he responded with, "That's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML
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Top comments
KamilleBlack 3
Oh, honey, that guy is terrible.
skyeyez9 25
dump him! A man who says shit like that is probably a lousy lay and clueless how to please a woman sexually.
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Comments (86)
omghehehe 0
2 reactions: 1st part is a bit strange. You would think in the courting phase, he would be courting you. Hmm.... Smell like a stripper? What does that or she smell like? I'm all into satiating my curiosity and rendezvousing strip bars, but how often does he go? 2nd, LMAO!! "...beef bus in tuna town." Hilarious!! You should've said, "Park it here baby!" and flashed him LOL ;)
CarterColbie 4
Wow. Just wow.
enfuego126 0
lemme guess. Pink by Victoria's Secret.
COBRAMORPH 0
YDI for being a ****. Second, he shouldnt have to ask. Its expected. After all you are marri... O yeah, its 2009, women are easy little *****, so again yeah, why should he even have to ask?
laxer19 0
what r u ? 50 years old?
shankapotamous15 3
that's wretched! did you backhand him?
ufcgsp92 0
lol yall people r too dam serious lightin up that shit is funny as hell
skullychicky 0
Ik right dat shot is hilarious XD I still can't stop laughing Srry op but ur bf is ****** funny as hell
hatemylife6 0
i donnt get it .. ahah
swick25 22
maybe because you look like a stripper???
laff_it_up 0
HAHAH i love that song, for those of you who dont know it, It's Lapdance is always better when the stripper is crying By; Bloodhound Gang
JubJub123_fml 0
seriously?
bubbub617 0
hahahaha....classicc