Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one, he responded with, "That's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML
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Top comments
KamilleBlack 3
Oh, honey, that guy is terrible.
skyeyez9 25
dump him! A man who says shit like that is probably a lousy lay and clueless how to please a woman sexually.
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Comments (86)
musicislife1995_fml 0
I'm getting such funny images right now
CallMeHush 1
I love stripper scent. sniffffff mmmmmmm
FederalAgent 0
ya u can do better
PeggGirl 0
I am SO SAD that not one of you kids recognized the lyrics. That's from Bloodhound Gang's "A Lap Dance is Always Better when the Stripper is Crying." Which is an awesome song, by the way.
werzal 5
Sure its great in a song but vile spoken to someone.
rawr666 0
"i got to nail her, back at her trailer...huh huh that rhymes" @op: you think that's bad? my bf sang that whole song to me for my birthday...in front of a ton of people
bunnyhunter42 0
i noticed it was the lyrics to the song the moment i read it but we seem to be the only two who find it funny lol
cheerchick4life 0
why are all of you telling her he's a bad bf? he was trying to be cute... at least that's what I think
babykitsune102 0
sexy jk lol sux foe you
mcguyver98 0
yea, that's the guy you should spend the rest of your life with!
bryfbot 0
Lmaooo unbareable
alex1432 9
giggity giggity...!!!
I_Own_Ubers 0
hmm cheerchick u have problems if u think that's cute, either he was deadly serious and u should kick his ass to the pavement, or he was joking and you shoulda seen the humour in it and ****** him till the early hours