Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint...

By Anonymous - 28/08/2011 06:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 084

You deserved it 6 382

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Same thing different taste

By ohmaigawd - 14/09/2011 16:59 - Argentina

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 631

You deserved it 6 975

Not a biology major

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 287

By pumpkinlover89 - 27/03/2010 08:26 - United States

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 420

You deserved it 10 455

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 161

You deserved it 5 253

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 348

You deserved it 4 338

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 678

You deserved it 6 230

By Anon - 10/03/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 845

You deserved it 9 523

By TooShortToCleanThat - 20/03/2015 03:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 482

You deserved it 3 759

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 365

You deserved it 10 523

By Blondegirl - 07/11/2009 12:55 - United States

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 915

You deserved it 5 330

ElainaCutsYou 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:07

Better follow the directions

flockz 19

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:27

considerate sex? WTF are you talking about?!?! bf- "may i please stick my willy in you now?" gf-"yes but remember to keep all your clothing on and go slowly so i you don't hurt me." bf- "ok but can i slap your gluteus maximus as well?" gf- " no tht would be inconsiderate for me and my skin. oh and by the way, if you cum before i do, i'm going to dump you for being so inconsiderate." no do you realizehow stupi your comment was?

Comments

lilmillion22 5

Sunday 28 August 2011 23:25

Under the influence.

liamcumby 4

Monday 29 August 2011 1:11

So turn the lights on....

birdofparadise 16

Monday 29 August 2011 1:20

Haha! Your boyfriends awesome! If my boyfriend demanded a ******** like that, I'd comply more willingly than usual!

muhilrashid 4

Monday 29 August 2011 2:02

You probably sucked it huh ?

Rainbow_Crash 11

Monday 29 August 2011 10:36

"Demanded"? My ass. How uncouth does he have to be to demand that you do anything, sexual or otherwise, to or for him? Granted, I don't know jack shit about oral sex, seeing as I've never given nor recieved it (and don't plan to anytime in the near future), demanding for it seems crass.