tkrause
Nelson, Canada
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
anonymous
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
IloveJapan
Japan
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Old dog, new tricks
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
LonelyHeart
United States
Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML
baby.momma2
Dominion
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Anonymous
Pleasantville, United States
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Anonymous
Swindon, United Kingdom
Where you been?
Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML
Anonymous
River Falls, United States
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Neckbruise101
Los Angeles, United States
Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML
Top comments
Cheeley 17
Those vacuums can be pretty deceiving.
Welshite 39
It's true. Poor guy was just trying to clean his house when the vacuum decided to revolt and attacked him. Those machines are violent at times.
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Comments (104)
ReepingHavoc 13
well how big is the hicky? is it perfectly round or rectangular O.o
amifaiyaz 12
Tell him the vacuum can do his dick too, you can do better.
jah5753 4
Nice!
QueenMichael 16
It's not really an excuse, even if it's true. What kind of person gets hickeys from a vacuum cleaner?
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Ah..the old Hoover Maneuver excuse.
crackpotL 33
Give him a black eye then he can say the door did it.
cdkitty94 6
This fml is so overused. I guarantee it's probably a fake. Please be more original!
onorexveritas 23
douchebag
jcrawford4 2
Seeing how it was April Fools Day. I could believe he did that to freak you out. Just chill.
born_hustla 26
Such an honest cheater
lielkolet 3
Believe it or not, I've gotten upwards of 10 hickeys from vacuums. It happens.