Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML
Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML
Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML
Today, in the same sentence, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to "spend the rest of his life with me," and "I want to break up with you because I can't face your family." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML
Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML
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Top comments
_ebbonyy 11
Make his dream come true and kill him then. :)
darwinism 30
Just say "Oh, shit! I thought you died years ago. Your're brother has been consoling me for ages"
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Comments (99)
DjeePee 25
And now I'm praying for the end of time, to hurry up and arrive, 'cause if I've got to spend another minute with you, I don't know if I can really survive. I'll never break my promise or forget my vow, but God only knows what I can do right now. Praying till the end of time, that's all I have to do-o-o. Praying till the end of time, so I can end my time with yooouuuuuu.
perdix 31
Does she know you told me you'd hold me Until you died Till you died But you're still alive? DjeePee, I liked yours, too. Do the baseball game part!
Skinwalker131 5
Paradise by the Dashboard Light is a great song!!
Taymah49 7
Did y'all end?
pavlovaaLOVE 7
No shit. You're a bright little one aren't you
Nyx7 24
Nope they lived happily ever after
tony1891 22
you should cut off his manhood. make him wish he was dead.
hockeyoceancity 13
Lmao i read your comment then i saw your profile and i was like i don't think Jesus would approve but than i read the rest of the profile picture ahhaha good stuff.
zandalee 20
Laugh and walk away OP... What a child!
SmileyLexie123 0
You can do better
DooleyFTW 17
Interesting I didn't realise suicide was a job you could commute to and back from.
KM96 24
Oh that's horrible ! Sorry for you OP ...
nco1414 7
You should kill him then walk away feeling like a boss
Pentium_4 27
what does suicide feel like? i'm expecting a clever answer from you baustigt
Senseless_487 29
Duh, 30, it feels like commuting!