Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML
Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML
Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML
Today, in the same sentence, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to "spend the rest of his life with me," and "I want to break up with you because I can't face your family." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML
Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML
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Top comments
_ebbonyy 11
Make his dream come true and kill him then. :)
darwinism 30
Just say "Oh, shit! I thought you died years ago. Your're brother has been consoling me for ages"
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Comments (99)
donkey79 0
What a douche. You should not miss this person.
wenzy 2
Pretty harsh way to break up with someone if you ask me.
skokob 7
You can tell him that 3/4 of couples the male dies first!
SLC_grumpypants 5
We die first because we WANT to.
Ajwc101 24
Role play during sex and "accidentally" stab him. Make sure your phone is dead, that way you would have no way of getting help. After all this is an "accident".
Transform 3
Haha, just say 'and let's pretend I actually care'.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I hate guys that tell a load of bullshit and have to take it back Like when they say they'll never stop loving you
Neo_67 2
Like a Sir
xBunnehAddictx 6
That is probably one of the most painful ways of getting dumped..
SchlomoTheGrinch 18
Not too classy but at least he told you straight up, instead of slowly distancing himself to make you dump him in sheer frustration. It's sorta like removing duct tape from a hairy arm: just get it over with, rub it and whine a bit and then move on to something more fun. Actually, if you do it right, the rubbing it and whining COULD be the "something more fun"-part of moving on ;-)
sbuxsux11 8
baby i love you...just leave me the **** alone