Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML
Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML
Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML
Today, in the same sentence, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to "spend the rest of his life with me," and "I want to break up with you because I can't face your family." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML
Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML
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Top comments
_ebbonyy 11
Make his dream come true and kill him then. :)
darwinism 30
Just say "Oh, shit! I thought you died years ago. Your're brother has been consoling me for ages"
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Comments (99)
Snackycake 20
You should have said"No wonder you've been such a let-down in bed".
hhhwat 0
Kill him. And said you thought it was cos-play
Pentium_4 27
now that i've been impressed, thoroughly, i can finally go to sleep! or, stand by mode. that's as close as i can get to sleep.
icemand90 17
stupid thing to say, but better he told you and left then stay and cheat. VERY VERY VERY stupid thing to say tho... punch him in the nose for that.
patrickalamo 48
Plan the cremation and run off with the insurance money.
Chandler1Bing 0
Just pretend you ran over him with your car ;-)
awilso13 8
So how did that make you feel?
Raayyy21 3
Kill him :D
vanessaizawesome 8
That's horrible, you really dont need someone like that!!
thiscrazything 1
It's time to bury him then.