Bailed out

By Why's it so cold in here? - 01/02/2015 18:13 - United States

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 764
You deserved it 2 960

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Why did you have to rush to the hospital? Your wife could have just sucked the spider venom out.

Well, would you rather prefer a spider bite on your penis?

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I really hope you didn't get an erection while being fondled by the doctor.

If hate to be the guy who pops a boner during the bend and cough.

That happened to me when I had an attractive woman doctor.

As a fellow human with a penis, I can assure you that even if the doctor were as attractive as you two ladies, popping an erection in a freezing room is near impossible unless you're both close enough to keep me warm haha

Smooth as fuck, #37.

Speak for yourself. I habe no problem getting wood, warm room or cold room.

Since you had to say that, I must say, as a guy, that most guys actually get at least a partial during that.

Well, would you rather prefer a spider bite on your penis?

Rock hard Spiderdick with some spider sense.

shooting "webs" everywhere...

Why did you have to rush to the hospital? Your wife could have just sucked the spider venom out.

That's what I was thinking!

Might be dangerous if she swallows though...

The only instance where spitters are winners.

#29, as far as I know, most venoms aren't deadly when ingested. May make you sick large quantity, but not kill you. I know people drink rattlesnake venom as part of cult initiations and they don't die.

#34 is correct, unless you have a cut somewhere in your digestive system, ingesting venom is completely harmless because they work through the bloodstream.

#12, by your logic, you would be thrown in jail for telling someone you think they have a sore throat. What you're talking about probably only applies to diagnosing real patients in a hospital setting. *Damn mobile, posted it in the wrong part.

Too bad it wasn't a spider bite; you could have asked her to kiss your boo-boo..

Better safe then sorry I guess.

she convinced you that a spider bit your penis? and you believed this?

You just don't take any risks when you're dealing with the health of your penis.

If there was a chance I'd been bit on the dick by anything, I wouldn't take chances.

She's a nurse. You'd expect an accurate diagnosis.

a nurse...not a fucking doctor!!!!

Why did you have to stand completely starkers in the ER? your wife did say penis didn't she?

Penis naked = Starkers naked

I'd take an ingrown hair over a spider bite any day.

How awful would it be if you found out she was just messing with you in the first place?