Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex...

By Anon. - 07/02/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 090

You deserved it 7 795

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Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

By CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 257

You deserved it 2 211

By fml_for_real - 04/02/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 290

You deserved it 6 928

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 06:26 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 196

You deserved it 4 523

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 03:30 - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 111

You deserved it 6 263

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 665

Read the room

By pissed girlfriend - 25/02/2013 03:08 - United States - Celina

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 136

You deserved it 5 628

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 689

You deserved it 7 154

Creepy

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 064

You deserved it 51 021

Mr Loverman

By Anonymous - 14/08/2020 08:01

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 309

Caught a stray bullet

By cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 031

You deserved it 17 819

hellblade36 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:03

necrophilia much?

tnlander 20

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

maybe you're too noisy op and he just wanted a few minutes to enjoy himself.

Comments

SweetnessMallory 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 3:34

well now you know what he's gonna do to you if you die before him

Gadomski87 2

Wednesday 9 February 2011 5:18

That's disturbing

Vaesive 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 10:38

Haha maybe hes being polite in telling you to stfu

nickflackafury 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 10:53

role playing. classic

BikeAllDay818 6

Wednesday 9 February 2011 11:44

I'm sure they're close enough to where they can joke around, even during sex, but I'm sure his gf doesn't know how to take a joke

qtns0cal 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 15:39

that's scary.... I say run as fast as you can... Ted Bundy used to do that to his girlfriend... if you haven't seen the movie, I suggest you watch it

ChronicSnowflake 0

Thursday 10 February 2011 2:15

WTF? that's really bizarre!! sounds like a creeper!

danidollface 0

Thursday 10 February 2011 3:43

sounds like my kind of movie

OMGFML38 0

Thursday 10 February 2011 5:21

That's just disturbing...

Itachifangirl24 2

Thursday 10 February 2011 5:51

Haha, now you know that even in death, he'll still love you :). But that's pretty gross...

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 200

You deserved it 6 771

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that many years before we met, I once slept with a guy in my college for $500 just so I could avoid becoming homeless before my next student loan kicked in. He dumped me because he “doesn’t date whores”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 368

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 796

You deserved it 6 288

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 747

You deserved it 15 051

Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 868

You deserved it 9 489

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 271

You deserved it 4 822