Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I showed my boyfriend all my kinky sex toys, hoping he'd be excited. He was actually freaked out and said that I have "way too many." Sorry I'm not a boring Christian prude who's afraid of her own pussy, I guess. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my husband got upset that I'm not willing to explore weird kinks with him. I had a wild phase when I was younger, and he didn't, so he thinks it's unfair that I got to experiment and he didn't. Sorry you don't know what you like, but I'm not your sex toy. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he had any secret sexual fantasies and promised that I wouldn't judge him, hoping to scratch my kinky itch. He looked at me wide-eyed, yelled, "IT'S A TRAP!!" and literally sprinted out of the room. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
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Top comments
TeasinDaNoobs 16
He does know it's not real right...?
adameeo 21
Unrealistic expectations :/
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Comments (55)
PANDORUM89 21
I'm positive that if he actually looked he would find **** covering every kink you have. he means you don't have the kind of kinks the **** HE watches has. Idiot. Sorry OP but maybe you can teach him that your kinks are sexy and fun too!
tomatosz 23
I would hope not, quite a bunch of creeps out there. When it comes to looks it seems that only those of the women matter.
Pinto_2015 9
Was he at least interested some way in yours? if not, trouble ahead OP.
smackaroonial 20
Pr0n kills love.
greeneyedx 23
95% of the **** I've seen are chubby older guys with young pretty women :I
NodakN8V 25
****: unrealistic expectations Cooking shows: unrealistic expectations
Madrias 36
So very true. Most of those cooking shows make the food look so damn good, and any attempts to recreate it look like someone sat on it.
MRSwick2525 23
Wow!!!! Do you know how to look up ****? Sorry I giggled when I read that.
PsychicBulwark 4
Clowns and feet are not sexy even in normal sex lives. lol
Heisenberg666 12
You should be like 'Why isn't your dick big like the ones the guys in **** have?'
Ninjerman 7
We need an "it's their fault" option.