Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I showed my boyfriend all my kinky sex toys, hoping he'd be excited. He was actually freaked out and said that I have "way too many." Sorry I'm not a boring Christian prude who's afraid of her own pussy, I guess. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my husband got upset that I'm not willing to explore weird kinks with him. I had a wild phase when I was younger, and he didn't, so he thinks it's unfair that I got to experiment and he didn't. Sorry you don't know what you like, but I'm not your sex toy. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he had any secret sexual fantasies and promised that I wouldn't judge him, hoping to scratch my kinky itch. He looked at me wide-eyed, yelled, "IT'S A TRAP!!" and literally sprinted out of the room. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
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Top comments
TeasinDaNoobs 16
He does know it's not real right...?
adameeo 21
Unrealistic expectations :/
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Comments (55)
Dodge4x4Ram 46
the best sex are girls who act like **** stars. fantasys are real.
tiredofwaiting 25
So many guys mistaken **** for reality. I think it is unreasonable for him to expect that.
ADBurns 22
Welcome to "Real Life" OP's Boyfriend. The only place that kind of stuff is real is in his head and in the palm of his hand...
dkane 12
Tell him you are disappointed in the fact his dick isn't the same size as the guys in ****.
siggy_mcsigx 22
sexy **** kinks like facials, rough anal and getting dominated I'm guessing? some girls might and that is fine but most don't and it's a wonder these **** star's delicate areas aren't injured
Badkarma4u 17
But there are plenty of people into every one of those things. Just because they exist in **** doesn't mske a person's kinks Illigitimate. All **** did was give those people an outlet, and introduced those kinks to the rest of the world..
leogachi 15
@42 "some girls might and that's fine" Did you miss that part? Your "correction" was unnecessary.
danihammer 4
Is he 14? He needs to get real.
9a_1z 12
He shouldn't have asked what your kinks were if he wasn't prepared for the answer!
Emz1307 8
This is partly why I dislike ****'s existence
melanielovejeff 15
**** is fake. It's all acting just like wrestling. It's scripted.
K3719er 9
I'm pretty sure whatever your kinks are, there is a **** for it - he just hasntseen it. Refer to rules 34, 35, and 36 of the internet.