Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
No fun allowed
Today, I showed my boyfriend all my kinky sex toys, hoping he'd be excited. He was actually freaked out and said that I have "way too many." Sorry I'm not a boring Christian prude who's afraid of her own pussy, I guess. FML
Confusing
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Level playing field
Today, my husband got upset that I'm not willing to explore weird kinks with him. I had a wild phase when I was younger, and he didn't, so he thinks it's unfair that I got to experiment and he didn't. Sorry you don't know what you like, but I'm not your sex toy. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Libido
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
What is he hiding?
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he had any secret sexual fantasies and promised that I wouldn't judge him, hoping to scratch my kinky itch. He looked at me wide-eyed, yelled, "IT'S A TRAP!!" and literally sprinted out of the room. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
TMI
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
Top comments
TeasinDaNoobs 16
He does know it's not real right...?
adameeo 21
Unrealistic expectations :/
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Comments (55)
Dthsapprntc 23
Because actors who get paid to perform for the camera is a good measuring stick for good sex. OP, tell your bf that if he wants pornstar performance in the bedroom then he need to fork up some dough. Then figure out how much the most expensive pornstar makes and charge that.
Masya1356 3
To each their own. Sex is great try something new.
smithv171 17
RedPillSucks 33
**** is killing our ability to have real relationships
MagnusDeus 24
Because of the morons who can't realize that ****, like all other types of media, is fake?
Badkarma4u 17
**** has been around since men drew on caves walls. Lack of real social interaction is killing peoples ability to have real relationships. People don't interact with people like they used to. It used to be common for people to greet each other even total strangers. To engage people in conversation. People that they don't know, in public. Now people silo themselves. Its not **** that did this. Its the fact that people are not as personally social for whatever reason. Our population has grown yet as a people we have become more antisocial. Sure we get on facebook and twitter and yap away, but in the real world, even saying hello to a stranger in line at the movies can seem odd nowadays. Also,all of the acts in **** acts that real people do. How do you think the **** people learned about it. Trust me people have been doing freaky stuff to each other for thousands of years. Its not rocket science to find out what feels good to a penis or a ******. You may not have known about it and it may not have beem YOUR desire but trust me millions. before your great gret great grandparents were even born have done everything imaginable.
enginsteve 17
#36 I agree completely!
Guru_Gal 12
@36: We don't don't greet random strangers anymore because of all the creeps we here about in the news. That part isn't being antisocial.
I_Bite 22
#74 now days we think of any man who says "hello" to a woman or child he doesn't know as "creepy" even if they're just being friendly. Yes there are bad people out there, but that doesn't mean we should shut out the world and hide behind a computer screen. All those people you're friends with were strangers once, someone just had to say hello. :)
gracehi 33
Solution: He needs to start paying you for sex.
Frillwee95 12
So she could be his personal prostitute as well?
gracehi 33
You mean that's not what a girlfriend is? Huh. Guess I've been doing it wrong.
rebamoo 14
This is why **** ruins relationships. He's a douche bag.
SChernobyl 6
Ask him to give you a **** actor performance.
AninOnin 24
And then look really disappointed at his sub-pornstar-sized member.
steam_engenius 21
Except that men in mainstream **** do way less pleasing than women in mainstream **** do.
Death69 24
Most of those women don't have those "kinks" either. They're paid to do what you see. **** is like any other Hollywood production...It ain't REAL!
ItalianGuy23 6
he's pretty....dumb.....
worldclassrager 41
Why the hell is he doing watching **** when he has you? Either way he needs to look more into the market then he'll know that it's like 95% fake
Keiraquarium 12
Lots of people watch **** in relationships, it's not necessarily a bad thing. However it does sound like this guy needs to understand that **** isn't reality