By Anonymous

Good enough reason

Today, I finally found out why my girlfriend doesn't want kids. She discovered Rugrats recently and, after binge watching the whole series, decided that our would-be children would be too adventurous for us to handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4043

You deserved it

446

Favorite

Kids

This Charming Man

Triage

Empathy lives

By anonymous - United States - Knoxville

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to his house. I was planning on breaking up with him while at his house. Turns out, it was a proposal party. I'm now engaged because it would've been rude to say no in front of his family that had flown in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13512

You deserved it

7243

Favorite

By people suck - United States - Oakland

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32294

You deserved it

2504

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34191

You deserved it

4320

Favorite

By Ouch - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46161

You deserved it

6788

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, our family reunion began with my sister calling my brother's current crazy girlfriend by his last crazy girlfriend's name and ended with my dad telling my adopted niece that he wanted a family picture without her in it, but she could be in the next one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13172

You deserved it

796

Favorite

By Anonymous - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I decided not to wear any makeup. I got told 13 times at work that I looked ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28648

You deserved it

6741

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw an elderly man struggling to make it across a busy street. I jumped up from my table at Starbucks to help him, leaving my things behind. When I got back to my table feeling good, I found that my coffee had disappeared. So had my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38287

You deserved it

25629

Favorite

By mortifying - United Kingdom - Harlow

Skinny girl

Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

565

You deserved it

1822

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/4/2021 13:59

It's not called a pandemic for nothing

Today, I found out that no matter how careful you are during this pandemic, wearing a mask, washing hands, and social distancing, you can still get COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks

961

You deserved it

212

Favorite

By Hopslammer - United States

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11202

You deserved it

48953

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31573

You deserved it

2705

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was carrying some luggage downstairs to put in my car to head back to college. My brother told me my shoes were untied. He said he would tie them for me as I was carrying luggage. I fell down the stairs because he thought it would be funny to tie them together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51785

You deserved it

11142

Favorite

By nicole - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40278

You deserved it

5405

Favorite

By KiDCuSHi - Canada

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13035

You deserved it

76322

Favorite

By Natalie - United States

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45996

You deserved it

4257

Favorite

By Peter C. - United States

Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my phone that makes your picture look fat. My picture looked the same before and after. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33161

You deserved it

10385

Favorite

By coop42 - United States - Hortonville

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47016

You deserved it

6059

Favorite

By Judiee - United States

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56561

You deserved it

5733

Favorite

By leela - United States

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48537

You deserved it

4828

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - North Bergen

Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24511

You deserved it

3032

Favorite

By lizzard0416 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36854

You deserved it

9944

Favorite

By sillyrabbit - United States

Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said "hey" when he was next to me. He said, "the pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML

I agree, your life sucks

8355

You deserved it

46323

Favorite

By liver - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31790

You deserved it

3575

Favorite

By bummed - United States

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29062

You deserved it

16567

Favorite

By disheshateme - United States

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27601

You deserved it

3960

Favorite

By bad dad

Today, trying to be a good co-parent, I asked my ex if he’d like to go to the circus with our kids and I. His new girlfriend of a whopping five days said it made her uncomfortable. He stood us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2075

You deserved it

170

Favorite

By clothesthief - Australia - Ivanhoe

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31658

You deserved it

3908

Favorite

By starrybrooke - United States

Today, while working the dinner rush at my job, every single computer, credit card machine, and printer froze for an hour and a half. The reason behind this issue was a large wire ripped from the mainframe, the same wire I tripped over 20 seconds before while my boss watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55445

You deserved it

9900

Favorite

By cmzraxsn - United Kingdom

Today, I ran to catch the train, but slipped on the stairs and fell on my shoulder. However, my effort was rendered useless; it wasn't even my train. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25267

You deserved it

5307

Favorite

By fail - Australia

Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9344

You deserved it

39469

Favorite

By me - United States

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11876

You deserved it

28486

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, whom I have been with for 4 years. I've been in Australia for the last 2 months and before I left, he bought a box of 12 condoms, saying we would use them when I got back. We went to the bedroom and I opened the box. There was one left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2756

You deserved it

233

Favorite

By Teacher - New Zealand - Rotorua

Today, I went for a soak in a mineral hot pool to relax after a stressful day teaching middle school. There were 120 middle schoolers there on a school trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25491

You deserved it

2023

Favorite

By anna14 - United States

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7124

You deserved it

49295

Favorite

By Jen1444 - United States - Rockaway Park

Ouch.

Today, I gave a financial presentation to my entire firm. After it was over, somebody accidentally copied me on a group text that said, "Her zipper was open the whole time. If we're so successful, why is our CFO wearing a urine-stained store-brand K-Mart panties?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

4652

You deserved it

936

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38677

You deserved it

2706

Favorite

By DC - United States - Sioux City

Today, I narrowly avoided a head-on collision in the parking garage. The other driver cussed me out. It's a one-way route through the parking garage, and I was going the right way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14798

You deserved it

1512

Favorite

By happysingleone

Today, the last of my college friends is getting married and now I'm the last single one. Don't worry though, if one ever gets a divorce we can hang out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8827

You deserved it

1084

Favorite

By w00tz - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks

99609

You deserved it

9283

Favorite

By Aldoch

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

35943

You deserved it

4819

Favorite

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Top comments

By Mary Auman | 9

#7456442 - Wednesday 17 May 2017 20:02

If she is just now discovering Rugrats, she isn't old enough to make a decision about having kids.

By Mynxie | 26

#7452278 - Wednesday 10 May 2017 15:52

Be glad she doesn't want kids. Do you really want to have kids with someone who bases her opinions on a cartoon?

COMMENTS

By Druu | 53

#7451498 - Tuesday 9 May 2017 7:42

You just wait until they ask for a pet iguana. That shit is Reptar in disguise.

By Mynxie | 26

#7452278 - Wednesday 10 May 2017 15:52

Be glad she doesn't want kids. Do you really want to have kids with someone who bases her opinions on a cartoon?

By Mary Auman | 9

#7456442 - Wednesday 17 May 2017 20:02

If she is just now discovering Rugrats, she isn't old enough to make a decision about having kids.

HappyItalian | 38

#7456496 - Wednesday 17 May 2017 21:46

Exactly what I was thinking.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7456444 - Wednesday 17 May 2017 20:03

I see. She's addicted to documentaries.

Just hope she doesn't find the seminal documentary series about children, "South Park." She'll probably get her tubes tied!