Miscellaneous: Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing...

By Kay - 23/02/2010 20:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 431

You deserved it 3 294

Miscellaneous

Empathy lives

This Charming Man

Best teeth in the game

By mishie1 - 21/02/2012 12:44 - United States

Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 648

You deserved it 2 913

Freud intensifies

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 01:59

Today, I couldn't bring up a close friend from college in a conversation without my mom bashing her for over ten minutes. She does this with practically all my close female friends. I suspect she subconsciously doesn't want any girl to steal her son away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 63

Smooth Operator

By kingpig - 02/02/2012 18:00 - Sweden

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 899

You deserved it 3 736

By Kait - 19/06/2019 08:07 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I went on a Tinder date. Sort of. I got ready and went to the bar he'd chosen. I waited 15 minutes for him to show. We exchanged ”Hellos,” then he said he was going to grab a drink and walked off. He didn’t come back. Damn, was it the way I said, “Hello”? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 871

You deserved it 167

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - 01/09/2021 13:01

Today, working on an ambulance, we had an elderly man who was obviously scared, so to get his mind off things I made small talk. When I went to ask if he was retired, it came out as, "so Steve, are you retarded?" My partner/supervisor across from me had tears running down her face from trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 07:56 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 182

You deserved it 2 788

Spy vs. Spy

By Anonymous - 30/09/2020 05:01 - United States - Lake Butler

Today, I panicked when I realized two of my diaries were missing. I turned the house upside down, and found them in the guest room, tucked away in a dresser drawer. My only visitor in the last six months was my mom. I’m 37 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 140

By - 21/10/2013 16:57 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 597

You deserved it 4 594

By aceshot97 - 06/12/2011 14:33 - Canada

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 430

You deserved it 7 542

By MIB thingy please... - 05/02/2015 01:21 - United States - Oregon City

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 862

You deserved it 5 541

By jess - 30/04/2009 04:51 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 061

You deserved it 10 091

By Champignon - 01/11/2013 14:17 - Belgium - Brasschaat

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 211

You deserved it 4 275

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 20:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 770

You deserved it 54 390

By RIPJarJar - 20/10/2017 22:18

Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 525

You deserved it 473

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 14:14

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 431

You deserved it 9 654

By ohmigodimchokin - 19/11/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 042

You deserved it 4 973

By Schmolly - 13/10/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I had a mental break down. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was "I think we were better off as friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 092

You deserved it 5 477

By SexyPlayer9 - 24/07/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 488

You deserved it 66 076

Won't someone think of the economy?

By tdizzlehi - 28/08/2020 02:00 - United States - Boston

Today, after coming out of a meeting during which I promised my employees better wages, I was met at the door by my CEO telling me to lay off all the employees I just talked to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 202

By PicturePerfect - 02/03/2009 21:33 - Canada

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 395

You deserved it 546 188

By Lonely At Griffith - 17/06/2019 13:02

Today, well into my second year at university, I still haven't made a single friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 283

By woodchuck0022 - 21/05/2011 21:16 - Canada

Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 407

You deserved it 30 781

Big up retail workers

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 14:00

Today, an old guy got nose to nose with me, threatened me, and spit in my face, just because I politely reminded him he needed to be wearing a mask. He had been coughing on multiple food items in my store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 115

By thatescalatedquickly - 07/11/2013 08:52 - United States - Collierville

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 450

You deserved it 7 206

By xoccerplaya - 06/10/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 475

You deserved it 11 289

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 145

You deserved it 3 303

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 22:29 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 000

You deserved it 5 695

By Drim - 25/11/2009 17:52 - Canada

Today, I learned that there is a limit to being thrifty. For example buying a pan from the dollar store is most likely going to cost a lot more than a few dollars. Especially when it melts all over your stove which you now have to replace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 072

You deserved it 31 808

By NonBelieber - 18/09/2013 04:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, just like the last several days, I walked out to my car after class only to notice the Justin Beiber stickers arranged on my bumper and license plates. My dad put them there, and thinks it's just as hilarious as the first time. He has four packs of stickers left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 773

You deserved it 3 068

By lynn - 22/06/2012 16:14 - Australia - Bongaree

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 234

You deserved it 2 084

Alas, poor Doggo

By suchatwat - 09/10/2020 05:02

Today, I accidentally hit my dad in the eye with our dead dog's squeaky toy. He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 223

Team Insomnia

By tp. - 08/06/2021 01:59

Today, my parents made me wake up at 7 a.m., like every morning. When I woke up exhausted, my mom rolled her eyes and said, "It’s called going to bed earlier." I went to bed at 10 p.m. last night. I fell asleep at 5 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 168

By unloved - 14/10/2010 22:10 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday, and the only person that called me was my boss. He wants me to cover his shift tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 428

You deserved it 3 039

By Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 030

You deserved it 4 238

By lambxox - 08/11/2010 09:04 - United States

Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 334

You deserved it 25 766

By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 02:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 709

You deserved it 3 268

By Chelstable - 02/08/2016 17:57

Today, I woke up with the worst headache of my life. I didn't get it from drinking, but rather from puking 6 times off the side of a fishing boat. Fishing was the one thing my husband wanted to do while on vacation, even though I'm 3 months pregnant and have a bad stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 638

You deserved it 1 474

By Anonymous - 02/06/2009 11:05 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 541

You deserved it 5 362

By higgles15 - 05/06/2012 19:42 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I got a bikini wax. They said it wouldn't hurt too badly, and that it would just sting. My friend heard me screaming from all the way down the hall in the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 202

You deserved it 19 979

By tracy4191 - 13/06/2016 15:27 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 450

You deserved it 786

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

llAllStarll 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:12

uhh it's not uncommon and not bad unless they're thick and manlike

mshafty 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:11

Nothing sexier than harry nipples on a chick!! my advice wax that shit and never tell anyone.

ily1210 10

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:09

LMAO, who cares? making a big deal S:

moneypenny_fml 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:43

carefull, don't slice off your nipple while shaving your chest hair!

Horney4her69 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:53

pluck it asap

Hexefrau 5

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 0:16

That is a myth, actually. Hair does not come back "twice as strong" if you shave it. That's an old wives' tale, and generally perpetuated now by people who are ignorant of grooming standards.

suicide_jockey 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 0:20

actually, the way the strands are cut makesthem "heal" faster, they do grow back faster.

VoodooGypsy 2

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 0:32

wrong, they've done studies proving hair doesn't grow faster after shaving/cutting hair.

Hexefrau 5

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 0:35

#56- Again, not true. The way the strands are cut with a razor, particularly a multi-blade razor (at an angle, rather than blunt) only lend the appearance that the hair grows in faster or thicker. That statement is like saying that the hair and nails actually grow post-mortem (after death). Hair regrowth depends on the individual. I've known women that can shave their legs, arms, whatever and be smooth for 2-3 days, or women like me who can have slight stubble at the end of 24 hours. Of course, the hair on my head also grows slightly faster than the average person's hair, so it's a trade off.

tuscany 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 0:50

i bet u have hairy nipples but ayleast u look hot :)

sweeteen16 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 2:41

ii agree with #2

daniel1_1 13

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 4:29

2 your hot

demon1k 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 6:59

LOL I have a smooth hairless chest at 21(male). sucks to be you! and it's great to be BROWN.

mshafty 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:11

Nothing sexier than harry nipples on a chick!! my advice wax that shit and never tell anyone.

ZombieBunnies 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:29

Shouldn't have to wax if that broken sack of hair seeds hadn't fallen down between her bewbies.

afatmonkey 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 2:21

why? what are we supposed to hold on to while riding her?

lickmyjock 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 3:30

am I the only one that pictures snickerdoodles bitchy ass smiley picture when you read this fml?

Naughty123 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 5:04

http://www.ihatehayley.com/index.php?id=645b1f061bbc2c145904b6b048c137d8

Ninjasaurus18 9

Send a private message

Wednesday 2 May 2012 0:54

*hairy

benen 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:11

first

llAllStarll 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:12

uhh it's not uncommon and not bad unless they're thick and manlike

ilikepie789 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:22

its really not impressive im 13 and have a hairy chest so suck on that OP

troyboyd05 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 5:31

@92 You are also fat, so no one besides your mommy will see that. So suck on that.

Carlie_McCartney 1

Send a private message

Sunday 10 October 2010 2:31

True. that's just weird...•shudder•

Carlie_McCartney 1

Send a private message

Sunday 10 October 2010 2:31

True. that's just weird...•shudder•

dramatic11 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:14

Lame FML. Most women have slight hormone imbalances which causes that. It's pretty common. I have it too. I don't think it warrants a FML.

llAllStarll 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:16

you're kinda early no one is complaining yet

WYK_fml 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:21

Also, you're sixth.

ModernWarfare3_fml 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:22

Wow benen you don't understand anything, he meant the first real FML instead of the MLIA stuff. How very smart of you.

Inabsentia 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:24

You should really wax that......

iSwag 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:48

9 FTW LOL

Oreogasm 5

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 1:52

wax it, dur!! if you wax it enough times, the hair stops regrowing from that area

thor89 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 3:41

Hairy BOOBS

BadPinkKitty07 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 4:20

haha #103, LOVE your name!

connor6982 0

Send a private message

Saturday 27 February 2010 2:51

oh shave that shit bitch

_swimcutie_ 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:16

Time for waxing..it's ok:)

chocobunnyyumyum 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:16

my thoughts exactly!

Tyler_is_sexy 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:34

I agree man it happens to everyone unless you look like big foot it doesn't matter

SpaceCoyote 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 February 2010 2:21

12? Get off FML.

DonkeyDelight 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:16

I bet you're one s3xy bitch.

hungryboy 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:36

lol maybe

isreal 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:20

that is nasty as he'll shave

world_peace_ness 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 February 2010 23:20

same thing here but I'm 12 not 16

mattysaysLOL 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 7 March 2012 17:00

What the fuck are you doing on FML then?

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 11

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 2 288

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 194

Add a comment - Reply to : #

Top comments

Comments