By youre dumped shitforbrain - 19/08/2012 16:52 - Sweden - H?lleforsn

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 714
You deserved it 5 465

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beezerbnt00 4

Pretty sure that's illegal....

It will only get worse, get rid.


beezerbnt00 4

Pretty sure that's illegal....

He's so stupid it literally makes me angry.

Did she mention shes from sweden?

Literally angry? Can someone be hypothetically angry?

It's illegal to have sex with a hedgehog in Florida

59 I'm sure that's one of those silly laws but I'm certain it's illegal in all of the US to fornicate with all animals.

Bestiality is a sin and hopefully illegal everywhere.

Thumbs down just for turning a question of basic ethics and consent into a religious thing, 70.

chowE_fml 4

Actually it's completely legal to **** horses. My **** subscription says so.

Psych101 9

38- No, no. He's metaphorically angry.

JackeeDawn 9

I wonder if having sex with the toad is considered animal abuse or not

14- it wasn't necessary to use the word literally in that sentence.

It's not all countries where it's illegal!

Knightchaser27 25

Is it even possible

KiwiExchange 16

Talk about insecurities. A ******* toad? Really?

Yes, metaphorically angry makes the most sense. The metaphor is that the anger represents the extremist left wingers while the boyfriend represents the war mongering extreme right wingers. OP represents working class Americans struggling to make ends meet, and the stupidity represents George W. Bush. And FML represents the NBA. (this post is pure joke and is not making any statements good or bad about either political party and is only calling George Bush an idiot and not all republicans. If you take it seriously then I am sorry if I offended you in anyway, I am just trying to make people laugh. Thank you for understanding).

#163: Yeah. I'm not laughing. I don't want to hear your political opinion, and I'm not telling you mine. They have websites and forums for those discussions. No president should be disrespected either; current or past. Thank you.

Legendoflaw 4

You just wasted 15 seconds of my time with that nonsense.... And it wasn't even funny.

Ah a ******* toad that's a good one... Get it she ****** her toad... No one... Ok

philbelfrage 13

65 - The fact that it is illegal to have sex with a hedgehog in Florida means that somebody has probably tried it in the past. It's likely there was some big consequence from it and wasn't just some freak raping a hedgehog. I'm just wondering what that consequence was.

The act might have been the consequence. Think about all those quills.

I bet it was quick though, or is that too shrew-d of me to say?

179 i don't think that was even a joke...

65 - In many states it's legal to have sex with a horse.

82 - its not legal everywhere.

109- depends if you spank it

Blackmail111 9

70- Nope. Sex with a horse is legal in Canada and about 38 US states.

Not everywhere. I'm sure there's a site listing the laws by state.

It will only get worse, get rid.

I think she has already has. Her username is "you're dumped shitforbrain"

That's good. Of he's like that he's going to be a pain for life.

beddington 7

My wife is this way and it does only get worse, and the longer your with them the harder it gets to leave. Jealous paranoia is a relationship killer!

Sounds like he was Projecting... Most people who constantly accuse a SO of cheating are doing so themselves, but projecting their guilt onto the other party by accusing them of doing the same. It was smart of you to get out!

A lot are also that way because they've been lied to and cheated on by more than one partner. Even after a long time of showing you're not a cheater doesn't change them. It totally blows to be with someone like that. Damn ***** people ruining good people!

(oops, wrong thread)

I understand her though. People in Sweden are a little out there... honestly have you heard the song What Does the Fox Say?

#68, it is. That's why a relationship of mine couldn't last. Not only girls can be that jealous.

I'm curious about how'd he would even think you could have sex with a toad

You really don't understand sarcasm, do you?

58- I've been saying for a while that FML needs a place to teach that :/

Psych101 9

64- Also, a font to indicate sarcasm would be nice.

mduffy08 8

58 - I preach intelligence. But you have none.

153, actually he's right, the fml is sarcastic at the end because the boyfriend doesn't think she's ******* a toad... so his response to the comment is correct :)

Smashed fly paste oral.

He might have got the idea from the Dr. Phil show.

153- I would like to point out that you have made yourself look like an ass with your worthless comment. You preach intelligence at 17 years old. Yet in the description of yourself found in your profile all you have is a lame, unoriginal poem, and "feed me" copied and pasted several times. This just leads me to assume that you do not have a level of intelligence needed to respond to a comment in a creative manner. And for my hypocritical comment of the day, I say to you don't be a troll.

BradTheBrony 19

Also, he's from Kill, in Kill.

If he is this jealous obviously he doesn't trust you. Dump him. You can't be with someone who doesn't trust you.

reallytho3 11

Either he knows op is out of his league or he's just hella paranoid, most likely both

vic55jets 13

Probably she did something for him to lose the trust. Wouldn't doubt most girls lie and bullsh*t

I think OP's username states her current relationship status

Dr0reos 8

Maybe OP kisses it first so it turns into a rich handsome prince(her boyfriend may be on to something)

Hey, at least OPs boyfriend isn't taking martial arts to be able to beat her up!

iiDangerCloseBK 6

Well the real question is, are you?

Hiimhaileypotter 52

No. She's not.

#5, you're completely idiot and sick. Get some help.

KiddNYC1O 20

Good one, 5. Troll successful.

hellachillin 8

5- maybe she ****** it because she thought it would turn into a prince? No no, that's frogs... Your comment was just stupid then

You guys realize #5 was joking.... Right?

iiDangerCloseBK 6

People have never heard of sarcasm on FML. Jesus.

Go to hell.

Wow... Well, time to move on

flutter4 7

It sounds like her boyfriend may be hiding something

#89: How does this mean her boyfriend might be hiding something?

162- Most people who constantly accuse their s/o of cheating, are cheaters themselves.

How on earth did you meet this dude? Honestly, its mind boggling the stupidity of the human race.

Says the human who has used the actions of ONE person as the definition for BILLIONS of others.

I should've said some people.. My mother is a lawyer and sometimes it does amaze me the stupidity of some.

The human race? What are you, an alien from another solar system? Lol...

Coincidentally, said by the man with Garrus as his profile pic.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

I would hate to be with someone who was that clingy.

Laurenlou 24

I wouldn't consider OP's boyfriend clingy. He just obviously doesn't trust her.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Well, it doesn't say how long OP put off texting him, but she said she was feeding her toad so I wouldn't think she'd be gone for more than 15-20 minutes. Maybe it's just me, but I would consider a guy who needs a text back within that amount of time or else he'll say you're cheating, is clingy.

Jesus here,what did you need?

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

Hey Scotty… Jesus, man. :) (Ray William Johnson reference)

You don't look like Jesus, you look like the Guy who killed all those people at the dark knight rises...

#118 that's not even funny. Why would you even try to joke about that. Children were killed and you want to make humor of that event? Something is wrong with you

LilliPage 17

#126 Why do you assume it was a joke? It could very well be a joke, but it looks like more of a simple statement to me.

You do look like Jesus, by the way.

129, does it matter?

karen1991 15

Dear jessus, why did you let this happen!?!?!!!!!

Wait... Jesus is a ginger?!?!?!?!

This guy looks like the Colorado Shooter.

Yeah, because all redheads look alike. (That was sarcasm.)

kriz_allizwell 6

id like a big mac with cheese and fries, make it large please...

How long did you delay replying? One week? Your boyfriends reaction seems kind of unreasonable if it was less than a few hours.

momolee 4

I might take up to a day to respond to texts. It doesn't mean I'm cheating. It could be The phone is dead, I am sleeping, or there is no signal in my area. Late response could just mean I am too busy/ lazy to text.

easyprey 8

My girlfriend accused me of cheating on her once, after I told her I was going to now the lawn for the next hour and a half. It only took me an hour but she accused me of taking 2 hours so I could bang the girl she hates :/