Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Our anniversary
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Dates that matter
Today, my boyfriend sang "Happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembers the date of the first time he went down on me. FML
New Romantics
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML
Bad timing
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Thanks, babe
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. All I got was him stopping by for a quickie before he went into work. FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML
Poor perfomance
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Top comments
mmedeiros14 0
well look on the bright side i bet it was a good bj for him to remember the aniversary
Mirorbo 27
*faceplam* Boys...please...for the sake of all us proper men...grow a brain and stop thinking with your junk!
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Comments (228)
Desurain23 0
am i the only one who noticed how she blew him the day they started dating? what a jezebel
tayza249 20
actually it was a month later. read it properly.
lookcutelivedirt 0
it's called be easy
HomeAl0ne 20
I figure if we just defined "dating" as 'commencing the moment she gives you a ********', then we wouldn't have this problem any more.
stilldrunk88 6
Did he wash the dishes?
Monkyman2006 1
how long have you been together? because the "which he forgot last month" part makes it sound like not very long... some people don't celebrate an anniversary every month, they do it after a year.
Monkyman2006 1
How long have you been together? the "which he forgot last month" part makes it seem like not very long. not everyone celebrates a monthly anniversary, some people do it every year...
mollyjynxjax 28
That's not what she means. Their 5 year (as it states in the FML) anniversary was the month before.
mollyjynxjax 28
Whoops, wrong FML on the 5 years part
pesky132 0
I REMEMER MINE it was 3/25/11
Jimboom 12
Must have been a good *******. Heres a solution for you though. Suggest to him that if he does good on the next anniversary you will give him a BJ he will never forget. Then if he does good give it to him and every subsequent year he will remember just on the off chance he will get treats after. ;-)
edteach 0
lol I don't have to actively remember it, we have the technology fella's set and alert on your calendar/phone/internets/whatever's ... for the record male bashing is so lame , lets be fair, there's just as many inconsiderate, unfaithful, and crazies in the female side of the world!
CherryBomb511 3
I completely agree, sometimes I am ashamed of my gender for the crazy stuff that some girls pull.
Yousuck24 21
What? At least he remembered something.
Cupcaken 0
OP never said it was a monthly anniversary, just that it was last month.
dathotginge 0
win on his part!!!!! :P