Mirror, mirror…

By littlelia - 15/09/2019 14:00

Today, my fiance's mother asked him how he can be with someone with chronic pain for the rest of his life. She has chronic health problems too, but doesn't see how this is a hypocritical question. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 539
You deserved it 115

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

I don’t see the hypocrisy either. On the face of it, she’s worried about her son and it is a valid question to at least ask at this stage. Maybe she thinks he hasn’t really thought out the long term eventuality. And if she suffers from the same affliction, she knows better than anyone what a lifetime of living with it will be. That’s said, if he does know what’s ahead and is with you still, sounds like a really good guy.

Maybe it's a self depreciating thing? Maybe she literally doesn't understand why? I notice there was no mention of a father.

Comments

Maybe it's a self depreciating thing? Maybe she literally doesn't understand why? I notice there was no mention of a father.

Susan Yee 9

Maybe it doesn’t mean she’s being hypocrites. She has chronic pain, so she saw first thing how it affected the household, her relationship with her husband etc. So she doesn’t want her son go through the same thing.

Mungolikecandy 19

Playing devil's advocate, maybe it is because she has such chronic problems it gives her insight into how difficult it has been for those around her having to cope with that situation?

I don’t see the hypocrisy either. On the face of it, she’s worried about her son and it is a valid question to at least ask at this stage. Maybe she thinks he hasn’t really thought out the long term eventuality. And if she suffers from the same affliction, she knows better than anyone what a lifetime of living with it will be. That’s said, if he does know what’s ahead and is with you still, sounds like a really good guy.

just because she lives it doesn't mean it's not hypocritical. it sounds like the mother is coming from a place of judgement and worry rather than one of empathy. how you approach a delicate situation like this is just as important as the reason behind it

It depends on how she worded it, but maybe she's just trying to prepare him for the struggles he'll face. If he decides to go through with it, he's a keeper.

It’s not easy for the spouse. I know my husband struggles some days. But in all fairness, everyone has issues. If you love the person, you find a way to make it work.

I have chronic pain, I’m a guy, and I can’t see anyone wanting to spend the rest of their lives with me.....

We've been together 4 years. His mom hasn't liked me since I pointed out to him that she's emotionally abusive; and this is just the latest way she's trying to meddle in our relationship. His dad is supportive of us, and didn't even know she said this until my fiance told him why he didn't want to go over to their place for supper. I've had chronic pain since we started going out, and my fiance has osteoarthritis as a result of an accident; so we're both experienced with ongoing health issues.