Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
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Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, I was picking up my 10 year-old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
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Top comments
EdwardC777 9
That beyond blows. Airport security isn't fun when you're NOT being accused of smuggling firearms
jessejamesc 8
when he goes into the next grade, tell the teacher he lies about everything he says and to never ever trust him, *wink*
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Comments (102)
MooseKnuckle5150 13
Whatever happened to spankings? Not abuse, just a good swat on the ass to correct a kid and move on. They worked on me and my siblings. And just about every other kid we knew growing up. Worse was our friends parents had permission to spank us too. And if we needed it there, we got it again when we got home.
KingCeltic77 18
Problem is though that this kid will probably come up with some BS like "My daddy beats me".
kieralumina 30
these kids nowadays have never heard of a good Jamaican ass whooping.yea it hurts like shit when you're little and you swear they hate you. but this generation needs some DISCIPLINE. parents are letting their kids get away with everything in fear of "abuse" charges. for little stuff talk and explain. telling airport security that your parent/guardian is a threat? your butt will meet the belt, and comb, and hand....and hanger. go ahead and call cps. you'll end up getting more before they arrive.
lb0812 18
Lol sounds like my mom, @52. In the midst of a spanking once, I threatened her with child services. Without skipping a beat, she told me she'd gladly dial the number for me. Then she handed me the phone and resumed the spanking. Ah, memories :,)
HeyMacklemore 10
@52 It's not even fear of abuse charges. People just don't care what their kids do.
SmittyKick 18
That's when you leave him at the airport so he can have his candy, and you go on your merry way
Ginja_HaZ 15
How does a 6 year old even come up with that? My niece is 6 and has no idea what a gun is.
MrConcise 34
Little boys play soldier, cowboys and bandits, cops and robbers, etc. Media, even when using guns in a friendly / fun context, gives children the concept behind guns.
Ginja_HaZ 15
good point. I guess that when I was that little, neither me not my brother would have never even thought of pulling a stunt like that.
jjmiller1001 17
both my 6 and 8 year old daughters know what a gun is and how to safely handle and shoot one. farm livin' is the life
kee_breezy32 34
every child's different tho . My sister is 5 & knows what a gun is , lol .
grumpybr 13
I dare suggest that mom is letting tv substitute her parental duties. Where else would a 6 year old learn that airports and guns don 't go together?
RedPillSucks 31
OP is a man, not a woman. Unless you somehow think it's only the womans job to raise the child. As an FYI, people can parent their children AND the child can still know about the world. 6yr olds are not stupid. They can figure out what's going on. My kid was 6 when the trade center bombings happened. We were in the car when news broke in on what we were listening to. Somethings are not easily avoided.
demonmonkey 13
At least you know your raising him right
jayleensmama 14
You're is you are. Your is your!
landon_loe11 16
The fact he knew how to do that bewilders me. I mean what 6 year old knows that if he tells a security guard that, that you would get in trouble?
ohjoy15 33
@#17 One who was born in today's day and age... I totally agree with you! I'm constantly bewildered by children these days and their sick new tactics.
olpally 32
They actually believed a 6 year old? Wtf? Unreal.
Jjimen1654 9
I agree i mean why would a mother be onboard with a machine gun? Its so stupid, besides im sure the simple scan of the lugage would have found a machine gun if there was one, which of course there isnt.
ImThatBish 1
Because people think little kids are trustworthy and won't lie...apparently not
muffinkitty 15
I'm guessing its just a policy they have to take all threats seriously.
djxerxes9000 18
Its idiotic really. A child's testimony in court is dismissable under the age of 8 due to the lack of ability to grasp the difference between reality and imagination. Why on earth would security believe a 6 year old? They're at least medium level retarded.
RedPillSucks 31
Because they're ****** if they let the one thing slide and it turns out that the kid was telling the truth. Why do you think they submit 80yr old grandma to the same search as everyone else, or search baby carriages. Every potential threat has to be taken seriously. Also, it's quite possible to get a gun through the metal detectors.
Iceman225 11
#27, you're right. If another has kids, she is Not a threat. That's why you go to a lady with kids if you're lost.
LoveNnyl 23
They can't really take anything in that category lightly..
neilyweily88 9
Hope you weren't going out of the country
dancinggirl900 17
A spank in this situation is not uncalled for.
Jjimen1654 9
Ive seen some mothers do a lot worse for a lot less.
AwesomeMe124 9
Just do what the kid says and no one gets hurt.
Michael_92 20
That is how you end up with a child that will NEVER respect you and will take advantage of you.
Iknoweverything 29
Is a spanking enough? No. I think he should NEVER get candy, EVER again. And if someone else gives it to him, take it from him, and eat it in front of him.
MacMonster 10
That would be cruel but so deserved.