Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, I was picking up my 10 year-old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
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Top comments
EdwardC777 9
That beyond blows. Airport security isn't fun when you're NOT being accused of smuggling firearms
jessejamesc 8
when he goes into the next grade, tell the teacher he lies about everything he says and to never ever trust him, *wink*
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Comments (102)
GetSomeM0 24
spare the rod spoil the child
annoy_me 9
You need to learn to discipline your child, mine would never pull shit like that lol
ileenefudge 29
Yea mine wouldn't either.
ihainecross 4
I think if my kid ever did that I would fiercly look him straight in the eyes and whisper "just wait until we get home" that will show him to never pull some crap like that again
nicholasj96 9
Lmao they really believed him ?
Bronze_ace 13
Oh he would get the candy alright, and by candy I mean the worst beating with a paddle that has ever been performed on a child EVER.
doglover100 28
If he was my son, he would be in so much trouble.
Auspex 8
If I were in that situation, I would've just pulled a Moral Orel. "You'll get some candy...in my study."
fantasyworld 37
No tv or video games for a year.
CandyApple88 13
OP, when you get home, what you need to do is to remove anything of any interest from your child's room. the only thing in there should be a bed, a desk for study, and a place to store clothing. Everything else should be removed. The walls should be painted white so he can focus on his studies without being distracted. And around the house, he should only be allowed to wear pink - it works for the inmates at Maricopa County, Arizona. Heck get yourself some other ideas from Sheriff Joe Arpario. In short, he wants to f*ck with you for you not getting him someone he wants, then you get to f*ck with him.
jen1097 25
I would have flogged the shit out of that little brat.