Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, I was picking up my 10 year-old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
EdwardC777 9
That beyond blows. Airport security isn't fun when you're NOT being accused of smuggling firearms
jessejamesc 8
when he goes into the next grade, tell the teacher he lies about everything he says and to never ever trust him, *wink*
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
jonha21 11
You should buy him a candy bar and smack the sh!t out of him.
AmyLee_Davis 5
HAHAHAHAHA I love your kid xD
simsgirlgem 25
Yeah and if it been my father as soon as we got home or the hotel room depending on why you were at the airport I have gotten the biggest spanking in the world
fluffycatsdad 33
I bet he's in SO MUCH trouble!
Ziggy122 15
I hope you spanked the living shit out of that brat in public.
rokolodo 10
I believe his behavior has a lot to do with how you are raising him. So don't be so surprised.
perdix 29
Are we talking "cavity search?"
Yolandababy2 14
When I got out of there and somewhere where it's only me and him ..his ass would of been beat real bad. Then ill dare him to say something or tell that I beat him and he'll just get another beating.
DolfyuttSrednaz 2
Guess who isn't getting anything for the rest of his life! Sucks to be you OP.
HopelesslyCiara5 19
Probably one of the worst FML's. That kid should be in BIG trouble. That's not something to lie about to authorities. He needs to learn a thing or two and not be so bratty.