Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
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Top comments
Crenny 16
Volcanoes aren't places you wanna be thrown into.
Classy_Sassy_15 15
You should have that talk with her
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Comments (123)
chaosta 2
are you trying to piss off the volcano god?
ShunGokuSatsu 5
Pele demands a sacrifice!
Parvati48 15
This made my eye twitch, your daughter needs to be educated and quickly before she does something stupid...
fmlrulesBolt 14
Have fun with that
Lianavlogs 7
Am I the only one who understood why she said that?, it's a card from the game "Cards Against Humanity" :
fazerfazer 4
...
harley1077 9
tell her it's the other way around. you get thrown in the volcano if you have sex before you are married. lol
fastcubesolver 5
Cards Against Humanity.
Azellia 15
You should inform her that unicorns only trust virgins though.
thelionsmane 3
What the actuall f