Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
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Top comments
Crenny 16
Volcanoes aren't places you wanna be thrown into.
Classy_Sassy_15 15
You should have that talk with her
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Comments (123)
lacrosse_53 10
I think that May be a supernatural reference idk...
SteakBarker 5
"Who told you that?" "Our satanic cult in school."
bobsanction 18
Well, I can't deny her logic.
sarah2144 14
There's also a Seinfeld episode where Jerry has a bit about how they used to throw virgins into volcanos.
mimi809o 21
she probably means the ancient Aztec tradition where they throw a virgin into the volcano to appease the gods into giving them a good rain season
blackonblight 33
Remind her that she'd be giving up on unicorns. And a unicorn would totally protect her from getting tossed into a volcano. Because unicorn.
kkaamm 9
danisnotonfire taught her well
LotsOfConfusion 9
I would REALLLLLYYYY like to know where the heck she got that idea from??
Sakuraashita 15
Umm.... Where exactly did she get this from?
apk892 7
Sorry bud, you screwed up somewhere.