Miscellaneous: Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce...

By ohn0es - 23/01/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 345

You deserved it 5 250

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Same thing different taste

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 043

You deserved it 2 805

By loveloves154 - 30/03/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 983

You deserved it 275

By TowelSmellsNice - 16/04/2010 12:34 - Malaysia

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 560

You deserved it 70 654

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 012

You deserved it 53 219

I'm never coming out of here

By hcditfi5foygy - 31/08/2018 20:30

Today, I went to my dorm's community bathroom to do my business. After releasing the Kraken, as I was wiping, I accidentally let go of the toilet paper. Instead of the toilet, it hit the floor in the next stall. Someone was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 450

You deserved it 579

Close call

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 04:00 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 501

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 426

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 453

You deserved it 4 699

You OK in there?

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 198

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 528

You deserved it 1 393

Superman8_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 2:58

go to the dollar store and buy some alarm clocks. set them for different times and hide them in their room, always a good prank. :)

Lizo_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 7:21

that is toooooo ******* funny. not really life fukkery tho. Just a prank. Think of some wicked way to get back at em!

Comments

fidenaut 1

Sunday 11 April 2010 14:48

I just love that prank! Everyone says its too stupid and obvious, but there's hell to pay when it works. *EVIL GRIN*

MiGman 5

Wednesday 16 June 2010 5:53

ahhhh the classic glad on the toilet seat. can't believe you actually fell for that

blackninja747 0

Wednesday 23 June 2010 9:59

ohk, for all the illiterates, he/she said "was barley awake". if the lights are most likely off in the middle of the night, all circumstances are set up just perfect. during the day its a different story. next time, read more carefully before talking, and making yourself sound like an ass hole... i'm over here in Afghanistan, protecting this type of people? i hope not all americans are like this...

jmcr 27

Thursday 14 March 2013 4:28

Not all but a good amount im afraid im in america and i can honestly say ive seen and heard about a good amount of americans this and much much stupider too hope you comeback ok good luck

willjackson 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 22:03

hahahhah you stupid ******* teat :D amazing .. just amazing.

katies94 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 22:04

good old plastic wrap :)

gracetaylor 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 20:19

That must have sucked!!

Phyre24 17

Sunday 13 November 2011 4:25

One word of advice for you: VENGEANCE!!!!

butterz69 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 1:35

That beast I'm gonna do that now

freddykrueger56 2

Sunday 22 January 2012 20:15

Just laugh it off then kill them later

PhishloverA 14

Monday 16 July 2012 1:24

Ok choose which roommate you want to get back. Then, pull your pants down (I'm not gay, I'm just telling you how to get revenge) and go stand sideways over his door, putting one foot to the right of the door and the other to the left. Put your hands on the wall across from you. When your roommate walks out just crap right in his face.