Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML
Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I went to my dorm's community bathroom to do my business. After releasing the Kraken, as I was wiping, I accidentally let go of the toilet paper. Instead of the toilet, it hit the floor in the next stall. Someone was in there. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
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Top comments
Superman8_fml 0
go to the dollar store and buy some alarm clocks. set them for different times and hide them in their room, always a good prank. :)
Lizo_fml 0
that is toooooo ******* funny. not really life fukkery tho. Just a prank. Think of some wicked way to get back at em!
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Comments (39)
PaperxHearts_xox 0
Lmfao! That's gotta suck. but seriously, it's hilarious.
BobLaw616 0
#13 No that would not be taking it too far... #8 good idea!
glitter_kiss 0
lol
Nacirema20 0
Ew. Gross. YDI. how could u not notice it??
LikeOhMahGoose 0
Well. He/she was barely awake. And it's SEE THROUGH. Smrt one.
Sycops 0
What does that even mean? ohn0es even mentions that he/she was "dropping a deuce" you'd have to sit down either way...
Sycops 0
I definantly agree that this is a good FML line, but in retrospect its gotta be hysterical.
cmac86 24
put a bolioun (sp?) cube in the shower head, so when they take a shower, they'll end up smelling like a type if soup.
Perversive 0
YDI for saying "drop a duece".
hellokittywhore 0
just for saying deuce you diserved it you duche!!!! i hate when peole say that, and take à dump! really??? do you really have to Share with everyone who has excess to the internet about the Large shittt you Took?
pun619 0
u mest be a girl if you didnt see the plastic? I didn't that guys checked for plastic wrap on their toilets every time they go
PhishloverA 14
You 'mest' be blonde if you can't spell 'must.' i don't care if you're a guy or girl blonde, but you sound like one. I can barely even understand what you said because you skipped a word in the sentence and you didn't even make sense. If you were trying to say "I didn't know guys checked for plastic wrap on their toilets everytime they go", then, well, nobody whether they're a girl or guy really does check for plastic wrap on toilets. And OP definitely didn't, so I don't know who checked for plastic wrap