Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons... - FML

By loveloves154 - 30/3/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3852

You deserved it

242

Tweet

Share

Season finale

Whatthefuckaburger

Rich people problems

By cstokes - 5/5/2011 04:44 - United States

Today, at work, I was supposed to have an easy two-hour shift, after which I was planning on attending a party that had been arranged to celebrate my graduation. Nearly six hours later, I am just getting home after being super busy and shorthanded at work for hours. I missed my own party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34168

You deserved it

3412

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/2/2011 14:31 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw I got a "Happy Birthday" from the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36766

You deserved it

7349

Tweet

Share

By youaresodumb - 27/9/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18334

You deserved it

34112

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/10/2019 20:00

Drunk dick

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1706

You deserved it

131

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/6/2014 19:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66837

You deserved it

6347

Tweet

Share

By Not his SunShine anymore - 10/7/2016 23:04 - United States - Manchester

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12600

You deserved it

994

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/3/2016 19:44 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss - whose intelligence level hovers a hair above "Herpity derpity derp" - got up my ass and accused me of lying to him. All because I said that just because I'm a network admin, I can't make his 7 year old piece of crap Blackberry magically be able to use 4G networks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18402

You deserved it

1348

Tweet

Share

By LoadingMeows - 23/9/2016 01:17 - United States

Today, I was written up. Too many customers complained that I don't wear makeup or do my hair. I got written up for being ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12730

You deserved it

1881

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/12/2013 20:25 - United States - Houston

Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48393

You deserved it

2756

Tweet

Share

By lalalasmiles06 - 4/9/2010 03:47

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45824

You deserved it

7221

Tweet

Share

By Headache - 1/3/2013 13:20 - United States

Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32794

You deserved it

4768

Tweet

Share

By JD - 8/10/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML

I agree, your life sucks

22396

You deserved it

4030

Tweet

Share

By notgonnaeatthat - 17/3/2016 20:40 - Germany - T?bingen

Today, it appears that moth larvae can make a water boiler their home, especially during my absence for four weeks. I learned it the hard way by pouring their boiled carcasses over my noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18603

You deserved it

2181

Tweet

Share

By puppylove - 5/5/2020 08:00

Zoning out

Today, my mother found me staring at my puppy's asshole. She had apparently been standing there for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

419

You deserved it

1649

Tweet

Share

By mother to be - 4/8/2014 13:20 - United States

Today, while talking to my sister, I explained to her that the reason I hope I end up having a girl is I want my daughter to love me the way I "used" to love my own mother. I didn't mean to say it in the past tense. My sister told my mom. She's planning my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38814

You deserved it

7013

Tweet

Share

By Wrongdoor - 6/12/2009 14:58 - United States

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11437

You deserved it

27808

Tweet

Share

By unfortunategeek - 23/12/2010 16:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML

I agree, your life sucks

56335

You deserved it

7425

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/3/2010 14:35 - United States

Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34540

You deserved it

2970

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/2/2012 04:52 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32010

You deserved it

8419

Tweet

Share

By Noah - 2/11/2016 14:24

Today, a friend pointed out to me that I bear a striking resemblance to Anne Frank. I'm a 16-year-old guy, and I'm inclined to agree with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9380

You deserved it

809

Tweet

Share

By no sleep for me - 8/1/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41165

You deserved it

5700

Tweet

Share

By Jason - 24/12/2017 19:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I found out that conducting CPR and saving a man's life means nothing if you break his ribs. He is suing me for $10,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6315

You deserved it

393

Tweet

Share

By AnonCat - 21/1/2013 01:47 - Canada - Vegreville

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36913

You deserved it

3642

Tweet

Share

By jill - 25/2/2014 16:59 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46937

You deserved it

8123

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/2/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31617

You deserved it

2472

Tweet

Share

By angie24w - 7/8/2018 23:30

Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2704

You deserved it

165

Tweet

Share

By Brie - 29/5/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41846

You deserved it

11634

Tweet

Share

By alone - 6/2/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I committed to babysitting on Valentine's Day not because I needed the money, but because I just got dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27910

You deserved it

2762

Tweet

Share

By DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE - 22/11/2012 21:03 - United States - Schertz

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27651

You deserved it

1945

Tweet

Share

By Freechbear - 17/9/2011 17:21 - United States

Today, my ex girlfriend is sleeping over at my house. At some point while she was preparing to dump me, she became best friends with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33020

You deserved it

2774

Tweet

Share

By mickey1928 - 12/1/2010 13:10

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40801

You deserved it

2868

Tweet

Share

By slcbabii23 - 1/10/2009 07:56 - United States

Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10371

You deserved it

40024

Tweet

Share

By tacoboy - 21/8/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47045

You deserved it

6542

Tweet

Share

By badcomparison - 18/12/2016 07:02 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML

I agree, your life sucks

7447

You deserved it

797

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/10/2010 06:37 - Australia

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27445

You deserved it

8639

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/8/2013 08:38 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44757

You deserved it

3114

Tweet

Share

By DatAss - 15/1/2016 10:56

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23882

You deserved it

2412

Tweet

Share

By phonnah - 20/6/2012 17:59 - United States - Bowie

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30172

You deserved it

3205

Tweet

Share

By unlucky - 11/12/2014 13:26 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15296

You deserved it

39453

Tweet

Share

By karen - 27/9/2019 14:00

I'm a meme

Today, as always, my name is Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1521

You deserved it

368

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By blink831forever | 13

#7617314 - Friday 30 March 2018 15:56

Stay home your day is just going to get shittier.

By John Nemeth | 14

#7617335 - Friday 30 March 2018 17:23

Did you happen to drop a phone in there?

COMMENTS

By blink831forever | 13

#7617314 - Friday 30 March 2018 15:56

Stay home your day is just going to get shittier.

By John Nemeth | 14

#7617335 - Friday 30 March 2018 17:23

Did you happen to drop a phone in there?

By Ishvah | 15

#7617340 - Friday 30 March 2018 17:29

Question, were you flushing the toilet paper?

By dexter420 | 21

#7617363 - Friday 30 March 2018 18:32

You should teach your wife how to wipe her ass without wrapping her hand like a mummy

By devi_916 | 39

#7617543 - Saturday 31 March 2018 9:56

Admit it, you forgot to use your poop knife, didn't you?