By Anonymous - Italy
Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML
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  22cute  |  17

Geez, Op, I feel for you, but you are in a bad way. I do understand. Here's what you must do:
1. Learn a few key phrases: "I'm so sorry for your loss." "this must be so hard for you." "if there's anything I can do just say it."
2. Use the above phrases liberally. Say NOTHING else.
3. To ensure you say nothing else, focus on getting others to talk. Ask your BF (or any of the family) to tell you more about the deceased. "What was he like?" "what do you remember best about him?" "I wish I had known him better, tell me about him."

That's all! Then just sit and say nothing the rest of the time. Also practice the "wistful and sympathetic half smile" be neither too solemn nor too bright. You will be wonderfully supportive!

And don't worry about being honest or sincere. This is a time when a little acting and going through the motions is just right. It's not about you- so no one cares how you really feel.

  22cute  |  17

Yeah, no one really knows how to handle death. It makes everyone awkward. That's why a good formula is called for. (see my earlier comment @#2)