Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds sweet, right? Then he invited my 10/14-year-old cousins to our house. They surprised me in my room. While I was using it. FML
Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML
Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML
The hair of the dog
Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised—and also genuinely hungover from celebrating my birthday alone the night before because they'd all told me they were busy. FML
Cool story, tell it again
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and I was going over to my friend's house for dinner. When I walked in, everyone yelled, "Surprise!" and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me, she said, "Wrong person guys, turn off the lights." FML
Top comments
nickinak2010 4
they were right, it is funny.
capnbzarr 43
Yes, they were right; that's hilarious. For my friend's 18th birthday, I gave him porno. His mom thought it was a lot funnier than he did.
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Comments (122)
wisericky 12
around my friends birthday we stashed a shit load of gay **** in his room for his mom to find. his mom was like "i knew he was gay the hole time" he had some splainen to do.
LexxyLiime 0
LOL.
newjerseyguy 0
lol thats awesome, we did that to our roommate, made the wallpaper on his comp a gay sex scene, swapped out his junk drawer with gay **** dvd's and stashed 2 realistic *****'s in his sock drawer. all this done the day before he was getting ready for his south america expedition with his girl. she had an thought that he might like guys so she found all of it while they were packing his stuff for the trip. her reactin was classic. she stillbteases him about now 2 years later.
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
LOL "hole" time.
AprilCutie93 4
that sucks your parents shouldnt have gotten you that
Troll1 0
how did it feel?
IcyHell 0
You will thank them later...
Igor_g5 0
I don't get the FML. A vibrator is a useful gift.
TheDrop 0
it's embarrassing because OP now realizes that her parents knows that she doesn't get any action
Tilburg 0
Haha, veel plezier! Heb je hem al.uitgeprobeerd?
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
^ What the hell just happened to my eyes?
hazardoussmiles9 22
Someone decided to speak Dutch. Sorry maar bijna niemand kan je zo verstaan xD
sourgirl101 29
It's your parents way of telling you to "Go **** yourself". Remember to take out the batteries when you're not using it. They tend to die quickly for some reason. (:
wisericky 12
mine is fueled by the power of love
sourgirl101 29
Mine is a plug in and shaped like a curling iron.
monnanon 14
you sure its not just a curling iron?
TenderWhispers 0
Share, let them use it
EvilSpirt 5
Ooh solar powered I want one :P