Miscellaneous: Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar...

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 166

You deserved it 2 574

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Get the message

By Smelly - 05/04/2022 16:00

Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 443

By Chakkamofo - 01/02/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 009

You deserved it 2 455

It's the thought that counts

By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 687

You deserved it 5 833

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 586

You deserved it 5 314

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 349

You deserved it 18 079

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 659

You deserved it 2 028

It's all downhill from here

By Brenna - 17/11/2021 10:59

Today, I woke up realizing my 40th birthday is on Sunday and I’ll only have about 40 more years to live after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 262

By fatty - 17/11/2014 21:05 - United States - Gloucester

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 948

You deserved it 5 740

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 158

By SadOldBag - 23/08/2018 21:30 - United States - Estero

Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 217

You deserved it 238

XBurytheCastleX 25

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

I'm sorry, I slipped and hit YDI. Everything is now ruined. FYL

xlord 27

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Wow that's crazy!!! I wonder what you get when you turn 50 ?

Comments

xlord 27

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Wow that's crazy!!! I wonder what you get when you turn 50 ?

wildgenius 13

Sunday 4 January 2015 1:54

No sir, it would be a trial oxygen tank

Pauline96_fml 20

Friday 9 January 2015 3:46

Or a coffin

patrickeli 15

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Gosh, that sucks. 40 isn't old, OP. Those people are just money-hungry.

desoxyn242 14

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:55

40 is the new 30

Just_A_Tree 20

Saturday 3 January 2015 6:05

70 is the new 20. *hands grandma a parachute*

XBurytheCastleX 25

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

I'm sorry, I slipped and hit YDI. Everything is now ruined. FYL

sorryheadphones 26

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:29

I guess 40 is the new 60

lexi365 20

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:09

As a 20 year old, that scares me.

flufee2 27

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:31

Happy Birthday!

Murilirum 23

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:31

I see an excellent opportunity for re-gifting.

emmatheamazingx 17

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:35

Life seems to go by quick but it's just an illusion

devildog562 33

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:36

Happy birthday , FML style . Hopefully you can at least have a fun night out .

everlastingsnow_fml 14

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:37

40 is the new 20! Happy birthday!

Epickitty58 29

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:41

If you didn't get anything from your family then you're related to assholes.

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Cute Miscellaneous Haircut Relatable Cars Work You're fired Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Sex Intimacy Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 140

The Top

Today, my dad found out that there are others like him in this world. They're called furries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 198

Today, because money is a little tight, I decided to sell one of my retro video game consoles. The family member that initially gave me it to me saw the ad on Facebook and demanded I give it back to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 802

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches on his chin. He did great; I passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 532

You deserved it 7 344

Today, my mom bitched me out, calling me a selfish pig and saying that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm so conceited. All of this because I started watching the latest episodes of Breaking Bad without her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 804

You deserved it 4 155

Today, after I'd met a nice guy and went on some really nice dates, I decided to sleep with him. I knew he had only been intimate once, so I expected some awkwardness, or that he might struggle. I didn't, however, expect that in bed he would sound like a cross between the Road Runner and the Swedish Chef Muppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 346

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 645

You deserved it 41 502

Same thing different taste

Get the message

It's the thought that counts

Lower your expectations

It's all downhill from here

Top comments

Comments