Miscellaneous: Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar...

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 175

You deserved it 2 575

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By Smelly - 05/04/2022 16:00

Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 453

By Chakkamofo - 01/02/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 021

You deserved it 2 462

It's the thought that counts

By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 693

You deserved it 5 835

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 595

You deserved it 5 319

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 356

You deserved it 18 088

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 675

You deserved it 2 030

It's all downhill from here

By Brenna - 17/11/2021 10:59

Today, I woke up realizing my 40th birthday is on Sunday and I’ll only have about 40 more years to live after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 266

By fatty - 17/11/2014 21:05 - United States - Gloucester

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 962

You deserved it 5 743

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 901

You deserved it 159

By SadOldBag - 23/08/2018 21:30 - United States - Estero

Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 231

You deserved it 241

XBurytheCastleX 25

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

I'm sorry, I slipped and hit YDI. Everything is now ruined. FYL

xlord 27

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Wow that's crazy!!! I wonder what you get when you turn 50 ?

Comments

xlord 27

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Wow that's crazy!!! I wonder what you get when you turn 50 ?

wildgenius 13

Sunday 4 January 2015 1:54

No sir, it would be a trial oxygen tank

Pauline96_fml 20

Friday 9 January 2015 3:46

Or a coffin

patrickeli 15

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Gosh, that sucks. 40 isn't old, OP. Those people are just money-hungry.

desoxyn242 14

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:55

40 is the new 30

Just_A_Tree 20

Saturday 3 January 2015 6:05

70 is the new 20. *hands grandma a parachute*

XBurytheCastleX 25

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

I'm sorry, I slipped and hit YDI. Everything is now ruined. FYL

sorryheadphones 26

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:29

I guess 40 is the new 60

lexi365 20

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:09

As a 20 year old, that scares me.

flufee2 27

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:31

Happy Birthday!

Murilirum 23

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:31

I see an excellent opportunity for re-gifting.

emmatheamazingx 17

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:35

Life seems to go by quick but it's just an illusion

devildog562 33

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:36

Happy birthday , FML style . Hopefully you can at least have a fun night out .

everlastingsnow_fml 14

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:37

40 is the new 20! Happy birthday!

Epickitty58 29

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:41

If you didn't get anything from your family then you're related to assholes.

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Today, the house I squat in with my punks got sold. The fascist fucker showed up with a baseball bat, two mean dogs, and a shotgun, and ordered us out. Now we're back to sleeping in our old van until we can find a new place. FML

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Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 774

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Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

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You deserved it 5 542

Today, in Home Ec, I struggled to open the microwave for almost 10 minutes in front of the whole class. FML

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You deserved it 357

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 191

You deserved it 3 918

Today, I was informed by a supermarket employee that yet another product that I loved to eat has been discontinued, due to low sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 161

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 1 101

Same thing different taste

Get the message

It's the thought that counts

Lower your expectations

It's all downhill from here

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