Health: Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did... - FML

By Sherlock - 03/02/2010 16:02 - France

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did great, I passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 465

You deserved it 7 313

Late term

My booze

Thanks Boris!

That backfired

By Alexander D. - 14/07/2012 00:48 - United States

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 647

You deserved it 37 065

By Lovernotafighter - 24/02/2012 11:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 308

You deserved it 2 168

By emmmbo - 19/12/2011 15:40 - Australia

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 730

You deserved it 5 436

By John - 20/07/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 599

You deserved it 12 029

By thegirlofthedad - 29/01/2013 09:48 - India - Mumbai

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 568

You deserved it 2 767

By Beth - 28/04/2013 13:16 - United States - Raleigh

Spicy

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 784

You deserved it 11 729

By Scholar - 05/09/2012 16:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 368

You deserved it 3 896

By thegoldenboy3 - 12/02/2009 12:14 - Spain

Spicy

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 154

You deserved it 14 294

By anonymas - 29/01/2010 15:29 - Norway

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 543

You deserved it 3 615

By American idol - 06/04/2011 06:19

Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 596

You deserved it 36 885

By SmileAndSayHi - 01/06/2016 19:23 - United States - Hialeah

Today, the underwire in my bra snapped as my 9-hour workday started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 496

You deserved it 650

By Eternal_Babyface - 08/11/2015 17:14 - United States

Today, I was talking to a friend and bemoaning the fact that my new coworkers keep mixing up my gender. She looked at me critically and said, "Yeah, until you can grow a decent beard, people are going to keep thinking you're an intern or a butch lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 696

You deserved it 2 295

By idiot - 04/01/2013 10:13 - Sweden

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 077

You deserved it 12 879

By BadBoyfriend - 03/06/2013 04:31 - United States - El Paso

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 318

You deserved it 7 294

By ugh - 21/04/2012 05:12 - United States - Athens

Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 961

You deserved it 30 806

You just had to be special

By Anonymous - 06/02/2021 23:01

Today, all of my friends are complaining about weight gain due to the pandemic. Instead, I have remained the exact same size, but completely unable to sleep or digest my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 69

By madd_dizzle - 25/10/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 721

You deserved it 43 306

By NotSoYoung - 17/06/2009 16:35 - Canada

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 780

You deserved it 70 540

By dating a moron - 14/12/2014 17:30 - United States - Dearborn

Spicy

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 392

You deserved it 5 046

By waaah - 25/06/2012 07:00 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 345

You deserved it 2 728

By sarah_sad - 25/03/2009 01:48 - United States

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 588

You deserved it 16 698

The Breakfast Club 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 02:00

Today, my husband's high school friends got together tonight. Nothing more pathetic than listening to a bunch of losers reliving their glory days as high school seniors. I honestly thought I would have picked someone better than this. My husband fucking peaked at 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 2 201

By sandwichmaker - 17/07/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 649

You deserved it 3 417

By Anonymous - 27/05/2014 19:26 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 701

You deserved it 5 477

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 08:29 - Australia - Perth

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 040

You deserved it 4 133

Long distance

By singlesailor - 19/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 445

You deserved it 4 434

By racchhh - 26/07/2009 15:25 - United States

Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 836

You deserved it 88 325

Big nope

By SquishFish - 10/07/2019 14:05

Today, while working as a masseur, a man requested a foot massage. This wouldn't have been an issue, had he not had at least 20 warts on his feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 874

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 07:18 - Canada

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 754

You deserved it 83 166

By scarred for life - 28/05/2016 05:23 - United States - Carmel

Spicy

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 413

You deserved it 4 039

By boobmilk - 08/03/2018 06:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today I left my 8-week-old with my brother so I could return to work. His wife took all the breast milk I'd packed out of the fridge and poured it out. According to her, it was “gross” and she didn’t want it near her food. My son is allergic to formula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 833

You deserved it 304

Lonely, so lonely

By Anonymous - 05/06/2021 11:59 - China - Shanghai

Today, I realised that my social anxiety, fear of people's judgment, social isolation, you name it, have got so bad that I literally have no interests. It got to such a point that I even have nothing to search up in the internet, so I just stare at an empty browser page wondering what should I do with my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 166

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 00:36 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 590

You deserved it 3 082

By MrsCasillas - 26/09/2013 06:24 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my financial issues hit a new low when I had to borrow back some of the money I gave the guy who did my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 408

You deserved it 5 790

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 689

You deserved it 19 185

By dontplaywithmyfeelings - 03/03/2015 01:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 733

You deserved it 2 725

By Anonymous - 16/03/2013 20:04 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I asked a traffic cop if it was okay to park my car briefly in a Monday to Friday only parking spot, since it's Saturday. She politely replied I could. I came back less than ten minutes later, only to find a parking ticket stuck to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 078

You deserved it 17 087

By Username - 21/07/2011 11:14 - United States

Today, my dad came home and said that he was so inspired by hip hop dancers on TV that he decided to take a hip hop dance class. He signed up for the class that my girlfriend teaches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 378

You deserved it 3 912

By Sabre777 - 17/08/2019 22:00

Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 135

By pissed off - 17/05/2014 00:33 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 644

You deserved it 14 920

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:30

Jeez, people. Obviously, none of you have kids who have been injured and/or sensitivity to blood and wounds. People faint at the sight of blood sometimes, or they get upset and overwhelmed when their kid has been hurt. I say FYL, OP. But at least your son got through it.

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 21:41

Your son had more of a FML than you. :

Comments

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:03

loser

Ajjas013 6

Wednesday 3 February 2010 21:11

This is a whole new level of lame.

mfmylifesrsly 29

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 22:01

yeah, how is this an fml? omg I passed out fuck my life! seriously? haha I've had to get stiches on my chin 4 times when I was younger. I was/am quite the clutz as you would say..

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 22:07

#14: It's a normal thing. Kids get injured, and some people freak out when they see blood.

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Thursday 4 February 2010 0:11

Your life isn't fucked... you're just a wuss. I'm going with YDI because the person expects sympathy from us.

Ajjas013 6

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:34

Today, I passed out from reading this FML. FML

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Thursday 4 February 2010 4:33

my mom ruined my life like that. I'm too chicken to do anything because my mom always was the one to panic at the sign of blood... OP you are screwing your kids mind grow some ovaries you dumbass.

PottentialFML 0

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Thursday 4 February 2010 5:08

Perhaps while he was unconcious he got raped by a wookie.

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Thursday 4 February 2010 5:29

I bet #27 would be fun in bed

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Thursday 4 February 2010 6:18

ur a wussy!!!

MagicalPegicorn 0

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Thursday 4 February 2010 9:01

Hmm. guess you gotta suicide now huh?

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Thursday 15 April 2010 5:21

that reminds me of when my brother was 3 and he needed metal caps on his teeth and when they were putting the anistethics he pulled the needle out and my mom fainted.

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Thursday 15 July 2010 10:21

same thing happened to me... except me and my mom were both freaking out, and my sister had to be pushed away, she was too close

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Saturday 14 August 2010 15:24

way to be a douche

NonExistentCok 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 23:36

I had stitches on my forehead wen I was 3 I thought the blood was kethcup :P

FernandoTorres_fml 0

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:04

You're disgraceful, to your family, to your son, but most of all to yourself. They're only stitches, it's not like they're doing an open heart transplant.

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:11

Wow ... seriously? Harsh, much? I'd love to see you experience a weakness of any sort.

FernandoTorres_fml 0

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:13

I once performed an auto-appendectomy.

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:18

Stiches are cake. Now if his son had a broken limb and the doctor was setting it and the bones were grinding together audibly, then maybe there is an excuse for fainting. Not that I would know anything about that, *coughcough*

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Thursday 4 February 2010 4:57

the mom was probably cutting his vegetables and then she still had the knife in her hand when she went to tuck him in for a little nap and when she pulled the blanket up she sliced his chin........ (I couldn't think of any other reason of how 'mommy' couldve caused that but if you do then reply!!)

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Thursday 4 February 2010 4:59

I meant to reply up there ^^^^^^ but I guess i replied herensonoh well!!

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Thursday 15 April 2010 5:29

you op are a... wimp!

boredSOLDIER 33

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:08

lol well u are french. fyl btw u need Jesus

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 22:55

no, you need Budda!

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 23:31

OP probably isn't from France. That's just the default mobile location. -_-.... Buddha will enlighten you of this.

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Thursday 4 February 2010 6:24

Buddha is a dead fat guy...Jesus is real ppl

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Saturday 14 August 2010 15:26

Jesus died too u know

myunicornbarfedo 0

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 2:13

Jesus doesn't exist.

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Saturday 25 August 2012 11:49

It doesn't matter if you believe Jesus is the son of God, it has been proven he WAS a real person. Therefor, both Buddha and Jesus are real, no matter if you believe in either one or not.

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:09

haha! At least your son's okay

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:11

Wow. All I can say is... WOW. that's so lame. PS: doubtful this guy's from France. FML reads mobile posts as from there. Next time your son has to get stitches, please, just don't go.

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:12

All I can say is Man Up a little!

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:13

not FML worthy. sorry

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:18

I don't think this is an fml...

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:23

Mmm needles, I'm salivating.

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Thursday 4 February 2010 4:47

weird....

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Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:30

Jeez, people. Obviously, none of you have kids who have been injured and/or sensitivity to blood and wounds. People faint at the sight of blood sometimes, or they get upset and overwhelmed when their kid has been hurt. I say FYL, OP. But at least your son got through it.

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Sunday 27 October 2013 5:39

Amen.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 9

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 149

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 91