Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, the girl I like said she was out drinking with a friend. I'm pretty sure she has been lying about all the times she has "fallen asleep" and could not talk, and is actually seeing other people. FML
Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
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Top comments
linshenjie321 0
**** her man , she is a hoe
tren94 0
but see going to a party as the only girl and then calling at 2am DRUNK would make anybody worry. trust isn't such a big part of the equation when booze is added in.
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Comments (52)
24788 7
At least she called you to tell you.
PRimAl_HUnt3r 0
well the post time says 10 PM....just pointing that out
hasty_D 0
the moderators have to accept the post and read it out man...
loveeisnott 0
obviously you're lying if it's "2:23" in the morning, and yet the information about your post clearly states that it was 10:09. fail.
Dwayzee 2
Takes time to be moderated.. Fail
SpicyDuck 22
Also this person is in France. Are you in France?
Rellakan 0
okay, possibilities here oh mightiest of mighties- he lives in a different time zone, FML doesn't check that they use a universal clock. he waited until the next day to post it because he doesn't wake up and instead of going back to sleep, check FML and maybe make a submission. on another note, :/ sketchy check up with her later XD
MiSSaNNa89 0
hahahahahaha #11!!
miamiheat244 0
Yo number 11 learn how to spell Believe dumbass
secret576 0
Well, you need to start with 'today' so it probobly wasn't that day.
dancergirl743 0
#6..I think he meant a different kind of fun.
jonchache 0
Shoulda been there
mubaki 18
my thoughts exactly. FYL though