Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, I went to court-mandated anger management. The guy running the class was an insufferable little dweeb who wasted time teaching us fucking nursery rhymes. I wanted to break his stupid little nerd glasses. Everything about him makes me mad. FML
Today, I hate the legal profession with a passion, as I just walked out of court where a lawyer, spouting incomprehensible bollocks in Latin, convinced a judge to let a developer bulldoze a children's playground and part of a forest, to build a second multi-storey car park for the shopping centre across the street. FML
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Top comments
jamesderp 15
It's never too late to switch careers...
totallynotemily 25
He needs to learn when to use his "freedom of speech"
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Comments (71)
DJDualScreen 4
not to sound like a dick, but isn't most of what you guys do mainly just plea bargaining?
abishekn044 11
at least your not a public offender. you get it. cause public defender and public offender. Oh forget it
Grisha_fml 18
work for the mafia, they pay better and don't put on a show ;)
jesusofsuburbiax 18
fyl
winecrab 7
Who cares, it's not like he's paying you. Not your problem.