Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, I went to court-mandated anger management. The guy running the class was an insufferable little dweeb who wasted time teaching us fucking nursery rhymes. I wanted to break his stupid little nerd glasses. Everything about him makes me mad. FML
Today, I hate the legal profession with a passion, as I just walked out of court where a lawyer, spouting incomprehensible bollocks in Latin, convinced a judge to let a developer bulldoze a children's playground and part of a forest, to build a second multi-storey car park for the shopping centre across the street. FML
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Top comments
jamesderp 15
It's never too late to switch careers...
totallynotemily 25
He needs to learn when to use his "freedom of speech"
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Comments (71)
igg125 30
Look at the bright side you're an attorney and make lots of money.
Shade1982 21
Public defenders usually don't really make all that much money...
catherinecas 30
Yeah the median income for attorneys in the US is right above poverty level. It's also a skewed result because of the dudes who make 6 figures practicing law.
goodread2200 10
Even nut jobs need help. In fact it's the nut jobs that need the most help. Keep up the good work but if your heart really isn't in it maybe try something else.
Ms_ValS 27
Not exactly. Sure there are those who are facing a legtimate psychological issue. Then there are people who are just self-entitled assholes. OP'S client sounds like the latter.
Shay_Shay97 23
Well, looks like you'd better call Saul Goodman in on this one. I heard he's really good at defending shitty clients.
Redmond64 16
Switch sides and prosecute him?
Laphog 17
If you think that's bad, try defending clients who have been charged with having sex with a severed head .
catherinecas 30
Is this a reference to something? Because it's incredibly specific.
Laphog 17
Better call Saul
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I don't see what the problem is. Your job as a public defender is to give your client the best defence you can. It's not to get them out of going to jail regardless of whether or not they were guilty. This guy sounds like he deserved jail time and got it. So yay! The system worked. Sure it's annoying to lose but as a public defender your job is to be there for the innocents who caught up in the system. Just do your best and if your client decides to undermine you, well perhaps you weren't meant to get them out of jail time anyway.
Shade1982 21
Actually, the original purpose of lawyers (both public defenders and private law firms) was to protect the rights of the defendant, not to actually get their client out of jail...
collinchildress 12
Try practicing at a private firm maybe? You'll get better clients lol
joshklander 11
Clyde Shelton: "AND I bet you take it up the ****** ass, bitch!" lol
CoupeDeAce 6
EDUCATE THEM!
erjar281 5
next time he'd better call saul