Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
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Top comments
VVeetard 8
milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...
victoriaax3 0
Atleast it wasn't a hobo .
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Comments (365)
jess6blondie9 2
Oh yummy.
Tecca636 0
hey Ijustlol send me a message :)
killface93 0
haha I would do that shit as a joke
taelorrae011 0
oh my goodness... Ew.
nothing92x 13
Um. Wow, weird. o.o
tablecat 0
my cat used to do that. :o
jess6blondie9 2
...... That's not something you tell people lol.
franceypants 0
I would have ripped him right off! ow!!!
tablecat 0
I would be sleeping when he'd do it. I'd wake up and throw him off. awful
guestxxx 0
I don't see why she shouldn't tell people that. What she shouldn't tell people about is how she secretly liked it.
_streets_ 19
that's ****** up. squirt him in the eye.
alliewillie 22
this^
Dubstep_fml 1
haha
felipe87 2
you should never talk about your mom when you are sucking on your girlfriend's tit
Hockeyboy4280 18
Oh thank God, I thought I was the only one thinking this... Smh for the creepy mom talk.
loveyoux3333 0
i know right? i did that once but i would never talk about my mom... she was too busy moaning.. i guess im just that good..(:
RedPillSucks 31
Erm... Your mom was too busy moaning?
ScreamoGirl84 0
Oh my! Thats Sucks! I'm pissed of for you! If that was my boyfriend, i would get a bat and litterally beat the living shit outta him, and I wouldn't ever look my mom in the eyes ever again . :) lmao.
lidemocr 0
I would totally break up with him just for that. to me, that's a pervert.
lizh_fml 9
After you have just had a baby with him? I sincerely doubt that.
lidemocr 0
how do we know it's the father? she hasn't married him...ijs
lizh_fml 9
We dont know that but I would say if the kid is 9 months old its a pretty safe assumption
guestxxx 0
175, I'm pretty sure the father of the child would still be the same person, regardless of who the mother gets married to.
guestxxx 0
Also, every woman doesn't have to marry the father of her children. I'm just sayin' no need to bring marriage into it.