Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
VVeetard 8
milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...
victoriaax3 0
Atleast it wasn't a hobo .
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (365)
TinyDude 10
Hes climbing through ur windows. But in this case hide ur boobies.
Tempsey 0
He's climbin' in yo' windows, drinkin' yo' breastmilk up! Tryin' to suck em' so y'all need to hide your ****, hide your boobs, hide your ****, hide your boobs, and hide your knocka's 'cause dey be suckin' on all dem nipples up in here!
rowanzora 3
I giggled. ^^
iizcalebhearmero 0
that is rape.
Mubus 0
112- biggest moron on fml
Baby2000 0
lol
dum_dum1 0
can I get in on the love? I wanna feel needed. :(
lanabanana81 0
breast milk taste horrible! bet he won't do it again. weirdo…
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
my thought exactly ^
FlonkertonChamp 6
breast milk tastes horrible? millions of babies would disagree with you...
RedPillSucks 31
Babies don't really have a choice. Breast milk does taste nasty. But it's one of those things that tastes nasty cause you're not use to it. Like people who drink goat or camel mile think cow milk tastes nasty.
Coldinside 12
He's in the wrong for not asking you first, otherwise this isn't that bad, plenty of guys like to suck breasts...
lmaoatall 6
well op put a diaper on him when hes sleeping and make coohing sounds at him in public places
Shadow_Phantom 26
Hawt.
just_sayin_81 4
it would be more disturbing if your 9 year old was breastfeeding.....
just_sayin_81 4
woops, i obviously didn't read this one right...lol
rainmanmatt 3
aww thats so cute. but nasty to. good he feels open around you p,s **** the police
lmaoatall 6
I know hu? **** the police, huhu seriously next time I'm in trouble, I'm calling a crack head, note the sarcasm that spews forth from thow
ToriTheTurtlexD 0
o.o