Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
VVeetard 8
milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...
victoriaax3 0
Atleast it wasn't a hobo .
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (365)
justthinkaboutit 2
eeeeeeewwwwwww yuck
bgyouknow 0
haha that's gross as hell
TomFeltonFan 0
lol, I always love reading your comments. you my dear sir, are a genius.
OMG_N3RD 0
Ewww
StrangeCandy 0
I sincerely hope some of you who think it's creepy that her boyfriend is sucking on her boobs never breastfeed or get with a woman who is breastfeeding. What do you think they did before breast pumps were invented and a woman's boobs were engorged? That shit hurts, and if the kid's not hungry, it has to come out somehow.
AndelleRae 9
There is a pretty big difference between having it done out of necessity and waking up to a grown man drinking your breast milk. In this case, yes, it is creepy, wrong, and disturbing. How would you feel if you were in OP's position? It doesn't matter if he's her boyfriend or the father of her kid, I think it's safe to say she felt violated.
StrangeCandy 0
I will keep my personal feelings on the matter to myself so as not to be chased through town with pitchforks.
monnanon 13
I doubt they got men to breast feed from engorged women, if you are breastfeeding a kid you do not get sore breast because it is drunk by the baby. Your breasts only become engorged to the point of pain if you cannot beastfeed but can make milk, letting someone feed off you or forcibly expressing the milk just prolongs the situation in that case. I couldn't breastfeed and ended up with cannonball breasts, very painful. I asked the health visitor if i could express the milk for my son since he could still drink milk he just couldn't latch on. She said no because I wouldn't be able to express enough by hand or by pump and it would just hurt me more. My friends that do breast feed have never mentioned painful breasts because of too much milk.
zandra335 0
that's hot!
xdust 4
Did you let him?
franceypants 0
was he sitting on your lap too?
staythirsty 2
thunder douche for the win.
ThePredicament 0
Did you ask him if it tasted good, at least?