Animals: Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my...

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 516

You deserved it 3 355

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Shrieking_Shack_Maiden - 07/09/2018 23:30

Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 662

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 15:23 - United States - Tracy

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 004

You deserved it 3 210

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 150

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 480

You deserved it 3 176

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 697

You deserved it 2 512

By imfromtexas02 - 06/06/2009 14:03 - United States

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 432

You deserved it 12 620

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 75

Creeped out

By Seline - 25/11/2010 14:48

Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 607

You deserved it 4 321

By Aaron - 26/08/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 638

You deserved it 56 009

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 316

nick3600 22

Friday 22 November 2013 2:06

Australia where else

HowAreYouToday 34

Friday 22 November 2013 2:07

why don't you take those puns and shove them up your butt

Comments

chocolatefrog28 29

Friday 22 November 2013 2:16

Oh hell no. Burn the bed and get out of the building, that is just not right.

Awesomeaxel 24

Friday 22 November 2013 2:17

It just wants a friend OP. Maybe all the spider needes was a couple scratches behind the ears.

etishuman22 32

Friday 22 November 2013 4:44

What ears?

Manniie_ 20

Friday 22 November 2013 2:17

The next time someone asks me why I am so terrified of spiders, this will be FML post that I am showing them.

ComoEsJuan 24

Friday 22 November 2013 2:36

"Oh no! Burn everything that the spider touched!" C'mon, guys. Really?

StellaNox 16

Friday 22 November 2013 2:42

Kill it! Kill it with... Ur blanket? I know the feeling - hate em! FYL

RenoTheRhino 30

Friday 22 November 2013 3:15

Oh Jesus..and to think I want to go to Australia to be an exchange student.

Futacy 29

Friday 22 November 2013 23:31

It's still worth it.

TrackGirl19 29

Friday 22 November 2013 4:05

Love the username OP lol

sarahbevan20 11

Friday 22 November 2013 4:21

Reading this in bed..... Wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway .-.

buckeye_state 11

Friday 22 November 2013 4:32

you know what I always say? spiders are for smashing!!!!!

Sports_guy3 28

Friday 22 November 2013 22:47

Time to call Mario and Luigi.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 22 November 2013 4:47

Well now you know not to trust your tickles anymore...hope you got rid of the spider without any problem...

Keywords

Insurance Money Plumbing Awkward Love AITA Suspicious Relationship advice Relatable Cheating Weird First Dates Marriage Health Gross Poopoo peepee Mental health Cars Death Family Parenting Kids Miscellaneous Transportation Capitalism My ex Instagram Friends Social Media Public freakouts

The Top

Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 109

Today, rehearsals started for the haunted house I act in. As we were running through the house and reading through our lines, the set designer turned on the hydraulic pump to test something, accidentally causing a tumbling bookshelf effect to go off. Guess where I was standing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 872

You deserved it 272

The Top

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 726

You deserved it 3 302

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 506

You deserved it 11 858

Today, I bought a used SUV that had fairly dirty carpets, that got even more dirty as I drove my 2 daughters around. I got it professionally cleaned and detailed and it looks brand new, but now my daughters cry and scream as I put them in the clean car, because their favorite stain is not there anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 207

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 687

You deserved it 2 823

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 504

You deserved it 3 726

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 933

You deserved it 8 819