Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML
Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
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Top comments
vikky538 29
time to change the roommate... or lock your room always
saucyrossi 18
You should taco bout it with him
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Comments (154)
oJoy 11
I'd get a new roomie!
reeper147 14
Well I feel there isn't quite enough info OP. Was this a prank he was pulling, or was this a perverted act to please himself? And if it is a prank, I'd respond by seran-wrapping him to his bed.
Mylife_hell 12
Um change roommates for one and sign him up for special help ?
Thatguy334 7
Though that's kinda creepy, ydi for still living with this douche
DogeMan 14
I think u might want to find a new roomate
yerrkiddingme 2
Umm get out of there!
sayyestothedress 24
#2 more like horny or weird
Axel5238 29
The OP mentions he's only been there for 2 weeks. Whether prank war or not. Clearly the OP is uncomfortable with him coming into her room while sleeping friends or not. Though, nothing OP said sounds like she knew him all that well.
SandpitNinja 10
He could atleast offer you half of said burrito.
EvilLittleMan 23
Wake his ass up while you're in a smoking pair of matching lace panties and bra while holding a freshly sharpened pair of garden shears and say in a sultry voice, "Next time, I'll cut it off."